16 Hopeless Romantic Fantasies That Are A Little Unrealistic

16 Hopeless Romantic Fantasies That Are A Little Unrealistic

1. Love at First Sight

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You know that spark when you first lay eyes on someone? It’s thrilling, but let’s pump the brakes on calling it “love.” Real love is like a fine wine — it needs time to mature. Initial attraction? Yes. Love? Let’s bookmark that for later and see if you’re lucky enough to get that far.

2. The ‘Perfect’ Partner

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Let’s be real, Mr. or Ms. Perfect only exists in rom-coms. Everyone’s human, and humans come with a side order of quirks and flaws. Embrace them! It’s the imperfections that make love interesting, after all. If you wait around for somebody without imperfections or downsides, you’re going to be alone for a very long time.

3. Reading Each Other’s Minds

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Unless your partner’s last name is X-Men, mind-reading isn’t on the menu. Speak up and share your thoughts and feelings if you want the other person to react accordingly. If you don’t tell them directly how you’re feeling or what you need, you can’t get mad when they don’t react how you’d like.

4. Happily Ever After

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Life isn’t a fairy tale, and “happily ever after” doesn’t mean a problem-free existence. It’s about sailing through the storms together and coming out stronger. That’s not to say that you can’t stay happy and in love long-term, just that you’ll need to be prepared for many bumps along the way.

5. The Grand Gesture

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Love isn’t always about skywriting your feelings or a candlelit dinner in an Italian villa. Often, it’s about making a cup of coffee for your partner or a hug after a tough day. Grand romantic gestures are great, but love lives in the little things. Learn to appreciate just how much more meaningful those things are.

6. Constant Togetherness

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Being joined at the hip isn’t a love requirement. You’re partners, not conjoined twins. According to Psychology Today, it’s healthy to have some “me” time, pursue your hobbies, and hang out with your friends. Space makes the heart grow fonder! Besides, if you’re together 24/7, you’re going to run out of things to talk about pretty quickly.

7. Love Conquers All

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Love is strong, but it’s not an all-conquering superhero. Real issues like addiction or deep-seated differences need more than a love potion to solve. They need professional help, mutual understanding, or sometimes, a decision to part ways. Despite even your best efforts, there may be times when love just isn’t enough to keep you together anymore. That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

8. Love Changing People

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Love can inspire, but it’s not a magic wand to transform people. Expecting love to change a person’s core is like expecting a cat to bark. It’s important to embrace your partner for who they are, not who you want them to be. If you need them to be an alternate version of themselves to be happy, you shouldn’t be with them.

9. Immediate and Constant Chemistry

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Chemistry is critical, but it’s not a non-stop fireworks show. In a long-term relationship, the sparks may flicker sometimes, but it’s the deep emotional bond, shared experiences, and mutual respect that keep the home fires burning.

10. Being Their One and Only

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The idea that there’s only one soulmate for you in this world of 7 billion people is a bit of a stretch. There are likely many potential partners you could be happy with, so don’t stress over the quest for “the one.” That’s not to say that there aren’t people you’ll share unique and amazing connections with, but if you lose it, that’s not to say you’ll never find it again.

11. The ‘Rescuer’ Fantasy

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Fancy yourself a knight in shining armor or a fairy godmother, rescuing your love from their troubles? Pause and rewind! It’s not your job to fix anyone. Your partner’s growth and healing are their own journey. You’re a lover, not a superhero! Same goes for waiting around for someone to come and save you. You can do that yourself, thanks.

12. Love That’s Smooth-Sailing

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Expecting love to be a breezy, effortless journey? Sorry to burst your bubble, but love is more like a dance. It requires rhythm, balance, and sometimes stepping on each other’s toes. The beauty lies not in avoiding the stumbles, but in picking each other up when you fall.

13. Jealousy as a Measure of Love

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Jealousy is not a way to measure how much someone cares about you. It’s more like a flashing warning sign of trust issues. A solid relationship is built on trust, not on how tightly you can leash your partner. Remember, love is about setting each other free, not putting each other in cages.

14. The ‘Better Half’ Theory

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The idea that your partner is your “better half” suggests you’re incomplete on your own. Newsflash: you’re already whole! A partner is like a cherry on top of your fabulous cake — a tasty addition, but the cake’s pretty darn good on its own too.

15. Love as the Magic Pill

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Love is incredible, but it’s not a cure-all potion. A healthy relationship needs more ingredients — like respect, communication, shared values, and compatibility, according to Calm. Love might take center stage, but in order to keep your connection strong and healthy, you won’t want to neglect the other must-haves.

16. The ‘Romeo and Juliet’ Syndrome

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The idea that love is all about intense passion and drama can be misleading. Real love isn’t about dying for each other; it’s about living and growing together. Life’s not a Shakespearean drama, and love doesn’t have to be either.

Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.