Admitting your true feelings to the person you like is a big deal. If your emotions are starting to consume you and you’re wondering, “How do I tell him I like him?” then read on. Our guide will tell you when to say it, how to say it, and most importantly, how to respond if you don’t get the answer you were looking for.
When do I tell him I like him?
provided by iStock
- Assess how they might feel about you. Before you tell someone how you feel about them, it’s a good idea to prepare for their response. You can’t predict the future but you can make a reasonable guess by judging from their behavior. Have they shown any signs that they like you too? Or have they shown signs that they definitely don’t like you? If it’s pretty clear that they don’t share your feelings, you might want to reconsider telling them at all. Only tell them once you decide that you’re ready to share the truth and are prepared for any response.
- Drop a few hints first. Telling a guy or girl that you like them is daunting. But the experience can become a little easier for both of you if it’s not totally unexpected. To take the surprise out of the equation, try dropping a few hints that you like them for a while before you say it. Show them how you feel with your behavior, through flirting, compliments, and even going on a few dates with them. This will also give them a chance to work out how they feel about it and how they want to respond.
- Consider whether you want to text or say it in person. When you are ready to tell someone you like them, consider what the best way of telling them is. Are you most comfortable saying it in person or via text? Though texting is less personal, sometimes this is the better option because you’ll both be less overwhelmed by having to come up with an immediate response to each other.
- Pick the right time. However you decide to admit your feelings, pick the right time. Choose a time when you’re both relaxed and not overly busy or stressed. For example, don’t tell someone you like them the night before they have a stressful exam or work meeting. If you are doing it in person, try to pick a time and place where you can have privacy. Choose a time where you can both focus on the conversation, rather than at work or at a party where you can hardly hear each other.
How do I tell him I like him?
provided by iStock
- Practice what you’ll say. You don’t have to write out a full script of what you’re going to say. But it can help to practice in advance. Think of the key messages you want to get across and rehearse them a few times before you talk to the other person. This will help you feel less nervous and more confident. It’ll also reduce your chances of saying something you don’t really mean.
- Keep things simple. Dating gurus advise that telling someone you like them should always be simple. Get straight to the point and don’t be vague or confusing. It can be scary to say exactly how you feel, but it’s important so you don’t confuse the other person. Sometimes, just a simple “I like you” is all you need. In most cases, that’s a lot of information to take in, so you don’t have to go into deep detail unless the other person asks for it.
- Be honest. Above all else, be honest and be yourself. Say how you feel and don’t try to be anyone else. It’s tempting to put on an act, but the very act of telling someone you like them makes you vulnerable, so just accept that you’ll be vulnerable. Tell the truth, no matter how scary, so you can move on.
- Don’t make any demands. The point of telling someone you like them is to be honest with them about how you feel. So try not to make any demands. Even if they like you too, they might not be ready for a relationship. Give them time to think of their response and let them respond in a way that’s comfortable for them.
- Try not to be overwhelming. Be honest about how you feel, but at the same time, keep in mind that this conversation can be confronting for the other person. If possible, try not to be too overwhelming. Tell them you like them, but don’t tell them you’re in love with them or you’ve thought about them every day from the moment you met them. Declarations of adoration work in movies, but they can be awkward, uncomfortable, and jeopardizing in real life.
How to cope with rejection if he doesn’t feel the same
provided by iStock
- Accept their feelings. As tough as a rejection is, try to accept the other person’s feelings. They don’t owe it to you to like you, so try not to feel like they’ve done you an injustice if they don’t reciprocate. Think of all the people in your life who have liked you without you liking them back. You’re not obligated to like anyone, and in the same way, your crush isn’t obligated to like you.
- Gain a little perspective. Remember that getting rejected isn’t the end of the world. It sucks, but it doesn’t mean your life is over. You will have happy experiences again and you will find people who do like you back. Don’t lose hope!
- Remember rejection isn’t a reflection on you. The most important thing to remember is a romantic rejection isn’t a reflection on you. It’s not necessarily that they don’t like you because you’re not good enough. Feelings are subjective and it could be that you’re just not right for them right now. This person doesn’t like you back, but there will plenty of others who think you’re amazing.