Ever wonder why some people are magnets for friends while you have trouble connecting? Likability isn’t some magical quality – it comes down to how you act. Take a hard look at these traits to see where you stand.
1. Genuineness
People can smell a fake a mile away. Ditch the pretense, stop trying to be someone you’re not, and let your real personality shine through. There’s no sense in putting on airs, whether about who you are or what you’re like as a person. People respond way better to authenticity than they do to BS.
2. Active Listening
Put the phone down, make eye contact, and actually care about what someone’s saying. People notice and appreciate that kind of presence. According to the National Library of Medicine, human beings want to feel heard and appreciated. By actually tuning into what someone is saying and engaging with them about it, you’ll go a long way toward being not just liked but respected, admired, and trusted.
3. Enthusiasm
We’re not talking about over-the-top cheerleading, but a genuine interest in life. When you’re excited about things, it’s contagious according to Verywell Mind, and people get drawn in. No one wants to be around someone who’s miserable all the time and who’s misanthropic about life. Yes, the world is terrible sometimes, but it’s also really beautiful — focus on the latter.
4. Honesty (With Kindness)
Truth matters, but so does the delivery. There’s a way to be honest without being a jerk, it just takes a bit of tact. Being direct may seem intimidating at first, but as long as you’re being truthful without being unnecessarily cruel, most people will respond really well to it.
5. A Bit of Vulnerability
Own your flaws; don’t be a robot trying to seem perfect. Sharing a little insecurity makes you relatable and fosters deeper connections. It’s hard to open up, especially when you’ve been hurt or screwed over before. However, embracing your humanity and allowing people to see below the surface will make you more likable and more relatable.
6. Remembering Names
It’s not just polite, it shows you give a damn. Make an effort to really learn people’s names when you meet them. It doesn’t matter if you’re “bad with names” or “better with faces” — it’s not that hard to pay attention to this small but very important detail. Mastering this skill will make your social and professional interactions so much better.
7. Keeping A Positive Outlook
Everyone hates a constant whiner. A touch of optimism (as long as it’s authentic) makes you much more pleasant company. Obviously, you’ll need to stop short of toxic positivity and “good vibes only” rhetoric. However, try to look for the silver lining in every cloud. It’ll be contagious to everyone around you.
8. Knowing When To Get Serious
Not everything is a joke. Knowing when to put the funny aside and lend support demonstrates genuine emotional depth and maturity. There’s a time and place for silliness; in other instances, it’s important to put your head down and get to work like a grown adult.
9. Offering (Sincere) Compliments
Don’t fake it for the sake of flattery. Find things you genuinely appreciate about someone and tell them. Everyone loves a little boost about something they’re doing well or a quality they have that others admire. It automatically endears you to them and brightens their day — a win-win!
10. Asking Thoughtful Questions
Prove you’re actively engaged. Asking about someone’s interests shows you value them beyond surface-level conversation. Not only that, but it’ll also give you a greater understanding of who they are, as well as a deeper sense of empathy and a different perspective.
11. Helping Out Without Being Asked
True kindness means helping even when it’s inconvenient. Small acts of service go a long, long way. A lot of the time, something that only takes five minutes out of our day can make a big difference to someone else’s. While you shouldn’t neglect yourself for the sake of helping people, do what you can when you can.
12. Respecting Differing Opinions
Even if you completely disagree, be civil. Listen, find common ground if possible, and agree to disagree if you can’t. Don’t try to change people’s perspectives or insist that everything is your way or the highway. That’s a one-way ticket to being isolated and unlike by everyone you know.
13. Avoiding Gossip
Trash-talking makes you look nasty, even if you’re just joking. Rise above it, and don’t indulge in tearing people down. You graduated from school a long time ago — grow up and don’t say nasty or false things about people just for your own entertainment.
14. Owning Your Mistakes
You’re going to screw up. When you do, own it. Apologize sincerely, and try to make things right. No one is perfect, and pretending you are isn’t just delusional, it’s also really alienating to everyone around you. Be willing to hold your hands up and fess up when you mess up.
15. Not Hogging the Spotlight
Let others have their moment to shine. Be happy for their wins without turning it into a competition. You don’t have to be the center of the universe all the time — celebrate other people’s achievements and successes. There’s room for everyone to win; let others have their turn.
16. Knowing When To Step Back
Even the best company needs space. Don’t overstay your welcome or force yourself into people’s lives too intensely. Take a step back and respect people’s boundaries. They’ll appreciate you much more for it.
