Confession: indulging in a bit of gossip isn’t always bad. Sometimes it breaks the monotony of your day and it can be a way for you to bond with co-workers or acquaintances. But there’s a catch. If you’re always gossiping or spreading it around, you risk getting a bad rep or ruining your life. It’s just not worth it. If you’re guilty of any of these nine behaviors, you’re a gossip queen and need to change your ways.
1. You Can’t Keep A Secret.
When someone tells you a juicy story about someone else and asks you to keep it between you, you promise you’ll keep it quiet to get the lowdown. Immediately afterward, you run to your BFF to share it with them. Or, you head on to your WhatsApp group chat so you can fill in 20 of your friends at once. Yikes. Although this might not seem like a big deal, it can hurt the person who’s being dragged with the gossip – and it can come back to bite you in the backside ’cause people can’t respect you.
2. Your Friends Don’t Confide In You.
Are you getting a bit of a rep as a gossip queen in your circle of friends? While it might be said in jest, your friends could legit stop confiding in you because they fear you’ll tell their secrets to everyone you encounter. Gossip is a highway to toxic, unhappy friendships and can isolate you in your friend circle. If your friends are always making small talk instead of having deep convos with you, this could be why.
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4. You Lack Empathy.
When your friend’s crying in the club bathroom and telling you the deets of how her friend betrayed her, you might lack empathy. You’re so busy thinking about who you’re going to tell the second you get out of there that you’re not thinking about how to help her and comfort her. SMH. So now, not only do people think you’re addicted to the grapevine but your friends are going to see you as rude or insensitive. Bottom line: gossip is just not worth it.
5. You Get A Rush When Hearing Gossip.
When someone pulls you aside and fills you in on the latest juicy gossip, you can’t deny that you feel an adrenaline rush. It’s quite intoxicating, right? Maybe you love having the upper hand on someone else or knowing something that you’re not supposed to know. It’s juicy, I know, but it’s like ice cream – you can’t indulge in it too much or you’ll feel sick. When consuming gossip, the sickness is that it can’t give you genuine happiness because it’s so negative.
6. You Only Share Negative Gossip.
Instead of sharing how your rival’s won an award for her amazing art or how your co-worker’s getting engaged, when you want to spread gossip, you’ll focus on negative things about people, like affairs, bad skin under a mask of makeup, or other tabloid-like things. The nastier and darker, the better, right? Woah. So much for gossip being benign and good for you. Stick to watching trash TV and keep your relationships clean!
7. You’re A Walking Gossip Station.
Does it feel like everyone comes to you to tell you juice about others? Although this might make you feel popular, it’s actually a red flag that you’re gossiping too much and should try to change your negative ways. You don’t want to be known as the CEO of the rumor mill. You’re joining forces with other gossips and you have to wonder if they can be trusted or if they’re spreading rumors about you.
8. You Can’t Talk About Other Things.
When you’re hanging out with your friends, do you find it difficult to not talk about other people? If you’re not gossiping, you might be bored AF or you might roll your eyes when the conversation is super positive. Woah! There are tons of things to talk about that don’t involve gossiping about others. Try do it as an experiment. It’ll surprise you how gossip can sometimes be used to fill a void or distract you from what you find is lacking in your own life. Focus on that instead. It’ll make you happier.
9. You Feel Better About Yourself When Gossiping.
One of the payoffs of gossiping so much might be that it makes you feel better about yourself. When you hear that your friend, who’s always sharing happy pics with her BF on social media, is actually miserable, you feel a kick of endorphins. Ditto for when you discover that your frenemy hates her job. While you might feel good about yourself, hearing the goss doesn’t actually do anything to boost your confidence or make you achieve your goals. Someone else’s misfortune has nothing to do with you, and throwing shade doesn’t give you more sun, babe.
10. You’re Becoming Two-Faced.
Gossiping requires you to talk behind other people’s backs. This means that you have to be a bit fake around certain people, which doesn’t feel good. It forces you to be manipulative and lie to people’s faces. Who wants that? Besides, rushing around trying to keep all the stories straight and the rumor mill going is a recipe for disaster. Sooner or later, you’ll be busted for gossiping so much and then you’ll regret it.
