If You Want To Be Respected By People, Never Talk About These 11 Things

If You Want To Be Respected By People, Never Talk About These 11 Things

In the realm of building respect in relationships, be it professional or personal, the art of conversation plays a crucial role. While open and honest communication is key, there are certain topics that, when broached inappropriately or too frequently, can hinder the respect others hold for you.

1. TMI about your personal problems

Talking about your personal problems can be overwhelming for people. It’s natural to want to share what’s going on in your life, but when it turns into a constant stream of problems, it can make people feel more like a sounding board than a friend or colleague. Plus, they have their own stuff going on and don’t need to be bogged down by yours.

This oversharing can also create an impression of being overly dependent on others for emotional support. While it’s important to have someone to talk to, balancing how much and with whom you share personal matters is key. Plus, continuously burdening people with your problems might lead them to see you as someone who struggles to manage their life, which can affect their respect for you.

2. Baseless gossip about other people (or even gossip that’s likely true)

This is not high school and you’re not Regina George, so give gossip a miss. When you talk about people behind their backs, you’re not just risking the trust of the person you’re gossiping with; you’re also risking your own credibility. People may start to see you as someone who enjoys stirring up drama, which isn’t a trait that demands respect. Plus, gossiping creates a negative environment, and it’s easy to become known as the person who always has something bad to say about others. It’s healthier and more respectful to focus on positive conversations or discuss topics that don’t involve someone else’s private matters.

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4. How much money you do or don’t have

Money is a sensitive topic, and how you talk about it can significantly affect how others view you. Bragging about how stacked your bank account is can come off as arrogance, creating distance between you and other people. They might feel you’re trying to claim that you’re superior in some way based on financial status, which rarely wins genuine respect. On the flip side, always complaining about money might put people in an uncomfortable position, feeling like they need to offer sympathy or solutions (or $20). It’s best to keep financial discussions general or limited for this reason.

5. How impressive your personal achievements are

It’s great to be proud of what you’ve accomplished, but there’s a fine line between sharing and showing off. Continuously steering conversations towards your achievements makes you look self-absorbed and pretty insecure. It can also alienate other people, who may feel their own achievements are being overshadowed or undervalued. It’s about striking a balance – sharing your successes in a way that’s modest and inclusive, rather than dominating the conversation. Recognizing and celebrating other people’s achievements along with your own can foster mutual respect and admiration.

6. Incessant Negativity

Constantly focusing on the negative aspects of life can be a real downer for those around you. If you’re always pointing out what’s wrong with the world, your job, or even your daily experiences, it can make interacting with you ridiculously draining. This isn’t about ignoring problems or pretending everything is fine; it’s about the overall tone you set in your conversations. A never-ending stream of complaints or pessimistic views will no doubt make people want to avoid talking to you. Striving for a balance where you acknowledge the bad but also recognize the good can make you more enjoyable to be around and help maintain others’ respect.

7. Controversial Opinions and Beliefs

Everyone has opinions, and some of them might be controversial. The key is knowing when and how to share them. If you’re always bringing up hot-button issues, especially in situations that aren’t appropriate for that kind of thing, it can put people on edge. Debates can be healthy, but turning every conversation into a battleground for your beliefs can be off-putting. It’s important to read the room and understand that not every moment is the right time for debate. Showing that you can have balanced and respectful conversations, even about controversial topics, is crucial for getting people to respect you.

8. Your social media accounts

Your social media behavior can significantly impact how people see you in real life. Oversharing, especially personal details or venting about every little annoyance, can make you seem impulsive or lacking in judgment. The digital world is a part of your public persona, and what you post can influence others’ opinions of you. Being mindful about what you share online, keeping your posts respectful and thoughtful, can help maintain your reputation and the respect others have for you. Also, don’t go on and on in real life about how many followers you have, how many likes your selfies get, etc.

9. Braggy comparisons

Constantly comparing yourself to others in a self-aggrandizing way can be a turn-off. It’s natural to feel proud of your accomplishments, but when every conversation turns into a comparison game, it can come across as insecure and lacking humility. People generally appreciate and respect those who are confident yet humble. Remember, conversations should be about connecting with others, not about proving how you’re better than them in various aspects of life.

10. Excessive complaints

We all encounter frustrations, but if every conversation you have is filled with complaints, it might start to wear on people. Continual griping about various aspects of life, from minor inconveniences to bigger issues, can create a negative atmosphere around you. It’s like being in a cloud of negativity that others might want to avoid. While it’s healthy to express dissatisfaction and seek support, balance is key. Mixing in positive topics or even discussing solutions to the issues you’re facing can make interactions with you more balanced and enjoyable, helping maintain respect from others.

11. How bad everyone else is at what they do

Disregarding or minimizing others’ experiences and opinions during conversations can be detrimental to how you’re perceived. If you often respond to others’ stories or problems by being condescending, belittling them or making it about your own experiences, it can come off as insensitive or egocentric. Respect in conversations is a two-way street – it’s about listening as much as it’s about talking. Showing genuine interest and empathy for what others share not only makes for richer conversations but also demonstrates your respect for them, which in turn earns their respect.

12. Your personal agenda, whatever that might be

If every chat turns into a pitch – whether you’re selling something, advocating a cause, or constantly steering topics back to your personal interests – it can be off-putting. While there’s a time and place for promoting your interests or business, overdoing it can make conversations feel transactional or one-sided. People tend to respect those who show interest in a range of topics and who can engage without always having an ulterior motive. Being mindful of this can make your interactions more genuine and preserve the respect others have for you.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.