You and your boyfriend broke up but you miss him like crazy. However, from the looks of his social media and from what you hear from your mutual friends, he seems to be doing just fine. In fact, he seems better than fine. What the hell? If you find yourself wondering how long it will take this guy to start missing you and your relationship, read this.
There’s no hard and fast rule. How long it takes for the guy to miss you will vary from one guy to the other. I’ve dated guys who took about a week or two to get in touch and confess that they missed me while others took longer. Some never texted at all. It’s worth noting that you can’t really ever know for sure how long it will take a guy to get real about his feelings because when he gets in touch, it might not be the day that he started thinking about you. He might’ve tried to be strong for weeks before he plucked up the courage to get in touch.
It shouldn’t take longer than a few weeks. While you might not be able to predict exactly how long your ex will take to miss you, if he really loves you and wants to get back together with you, it really shouldn’t take longer than a few weeks. If he’s the type of guy who takes months before getting in touch, that doesn’t really speak to him having strong feelings, in my opinion. It actually seems like he’s getting back in touch because he’s just bored or lonely.
You can speed it up. Here’s the thing: while you don’t want to waste your time trying to get someone to miss you, you can help the process along. One of the best ways to do this is to make clean contact with your ex. Cut him off! If you’re not all over him or flooding his phone with tons of messages, then he’ll actually have a chance to miss you and it will probably happen sooner that he gets in touch.
Maybe don’t block him on social media. This isn’t so that you can get in touch with him – the no-contact rule is a must to follow during this time so that he gets a chance to miss you – but so that you can show him how much fun you’re having without him. Don’t overdo it, though, otherwise, he’ll guess that those Facebook and Instagram posts are all for him.
You need to let the anger disappear. Is your ex someone who gets angry easily and for a long time or does he move past his anger at a faster rate? This could play a role in how quickly he starts to miss you if your breakup ended on a hostile note. Once his anger seeps out of him, he’ll be thinking about you in pleasing ways that tug on his heartstrings again.
He might distract himself at first. The thing is, he might not be the type of person to process his feelings and really think about what happened with your breakup right away. He might distract himself with guys’ nights out or other activities so that he doesn’t really think or feel anything. Once he comes out of that space, he’ll work through his feelings and thoughts and then he’ll start missing you again.
He might back off out of pride. Now, if this guy doesn’t like to appear to chase anyone, then he might be missing you a lot but not want to reach out to you. Hmm. It could take him much longer to get in touch or he could be secretly hoping that you make contact first, just so that it strokes his ego. Ugh.
What about the eight-week rule? You might’ve heard about this rule, but if not here’s the lowdown: this rule states that it takes guys eight weeks after a breakup to miss you. That’s two whole months! This has been discussed quite a long on websites and forums that explain that guys will take several weeks to deal with the breakup, perhaps enjoy their freedom for a while, and then finally start to miss having you in their lives.
Don’t just think about his feelings. While you might be thinking about what he’s thinking/feeling, don’t forget to take time to focus on your own thoughts and feelings. It’s not just about him! Even if there are eight-week rules out there, it doesn’t mean that you should take him back just because he’s come back after two months. It might feel like too long for you, and perhaps you don’t even want to get back with him. Take stock of your feelings before you let him back in.
What if he doesn’t come back? You can’t predict how long he’ll take to miss you and get in touch, so you should give yourself an ultimatum so that you don’t spend too much time waiting for him to come back. He’s not worth it, especially if he’s not banging down your door to get you back.