So, your relationship is over. Your heart is broken, and you’ve added another ex to your roster of past loves. It’s important to embrace the sadness that follows after a breakup. However, this also needs to be a time of strength and willpower. Whether you still love your ex or you can’t stand the sight of him, you need to block him on anything and everything because if you don’t, you’ll never move on.
You don’t want to see what he’s up to. You really don’t. It doesn’t matter if he posts photos as tame as his favorite book next to a latte on a table or as desperate as him making out with other girls. The bottom line is that he’s moving on, and seeing any evidence of that will hurt you.
No good can come from stalking him. He’s either an emotionless jerk and living life as if he never knew you, or he’s vulnerable and weak like you are and making every decision from a messy state of mind. Either way, he’ll be doing things you don’t want to see. He’ll be following new women you don’t know on Instagram, he’ll be out with his friends and possibly rebounding or countless other activities that will crush you. Stalking him online will destroy you. Resist. This. Impulse.
You’ll be too distracted to get anything done. The longer you obsess over what he’s up to, the longer you’ll want to analyze every little thing you think is happening. You won’t be focused at work, you won’t have fun with your friends at happy hour, and you won’t even be able to enjoy binging old episodes of 30 Rock on Netflix. Is nothing sacred? Woman up.
Ignorance really is bliss. The less you know about his post-breakup activities, the easier it’ll be to move on. Even just checking his Instagram once, even through a friend’s feed, will set you way back in your recovery. An ex is something you need to quit cold turkey, and your friends should be keeping you far, far away from him.
Your drunk self is already too hard to control. When most people get drunk while sad, they get even sadder once the buzz hits. If this is the case for you, you should probably stay away from alcohol until you feel stronger. But if your friends drag you out of the house – because they’re awesome and they love you – you’ll probably have a drink or two, and you’ll probably want to text him by the end of the night. Can you imagine the temptation to drunk text him if you’ve been seeing him in all your feeds for the past few days? Yikes. Don’t set yourself up for failure like that.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you two can just be “casual.” You might have some time apart and then randomly reconnect. Things might feel different now, and maybe you’ll consider having a casual hookup with him since the sex was always good. DO NOT ENGAGE. There’s too much history and fresh heartbreak for you two to ever have anything casual. Don’t kid yourself.
You broke up for a reason. Every time you fondly reminisce about the relationship you had and the happy memories you shared, remember that you broke up for a reason. If you were meant to be, he never would’ve let you go. So lean into the bad memories. Let them wash over you and make you mad, because they will save you right now.
You’re better than this. You’re a goddess. Does constantly refreshing an ex’s Facebook page sound like goddess behavior to you? Remember that you deserve nothing but the best, and unwavering, never-ending love, and your ex wasn’t able to give that to you. Block him and let him go.
If he wanted to get in touch with you, he would. You might not be contacting him, but he’s also not contacting you. If he was desperate to get you back, he’d be calling you, texting you, or showing up at your door with takeout and a puppy. If he’s not, then he’s not worth keeping even as an internet friend.
The right person is waiting for you, right now. Every minute you spend on tracking your ex down, that’s another moment wasted on the wrong person. The right person is out there, right this very second, looking for you. Maybe they’re heartbroken too. Get back out there and let them find you!
Fun is also waiting for you. Even if you aren’t ready to date someone else or have no interest in dating anyone ever again, wasting time on your ex is keeping you from doing a whole mess of fun things. You could be getting a new tattoo, traveling to a new place, buying yourself a well-deserved bottle of wine. Choose fun, let him go, and LIVE.
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