What if I told you that you could know exactly what a guy is thinking and feeling without being a mind-reader? Sounds pretty great, right? Well, it turns out that all it takes is a little observation. Here are 11 unconscious ways the body language of a guy can betray what he’s thinking and feeling.
- Prolonged eye contact You can see a lot when you look into a person’s eyes. If a man is gazing at you, he is trying to see into your soul to figure out who you are. Prolonged eye contact also creates a feeling of closeness and trustworthiness. When he gazes into your eyes, he’s subconsciously signaling to you that he’s interested in who you are on a deep level (he’s not just checking you out) and that you can be vulnerable with him.
- No eye contact On the other hand, lack of eye contact can also mean he’s attracted to you. Because eye contact is so revealing of a person’s feelings, avoiding it can be an indication that a person is trying to hide how they feel. While unintentional avoidance is probably a sign of genuine disinterest, intentional avoidance of eye contact means that he is trying to hide his attraction from you, probably due to shyness.
- Checking his phone Unfortunately, a man who checks his phone constantly while interacting with you is probably bored. He may be asking you questions and saying all the right things, but if his hands are frequently straying towards his phone, it’s a sign that he isn’t fully engaged in the moment he’s sharing with you. If he was into you, his texts would be so far out of his mind that he would forget he even had a phone.
- “Open” body language Research shows that people who take on “expansive” postures (wide leg stance, uncrossed arms, relaxed demeanor) are far more attractive to potential mates than people whose posture is contractive. Open body language signals dominance and confidence, qualities that are universally attractive. If a guy is posturally expansive, it could mean that he is trying to assert power over you to attract you.
- Fidgeting If you’re female, you may associate fidgeting with nervousness and discomfort. This could be positive (you’re talking to someone you really like) or negative (your job interview is going badly). In men, however, fidgeting is a sign of boredom. If the guy you’re with is bouncing his knee, fiddling with his napkin, or roaming the room with his eyes, it is more likely that he’s bored than nervous.
- Deeper voice Like it or not, deep male voices trigger a biological response in heterosexual women. A lower-pitched voice signals dominance and sexual prowess, probably because deeper pitch is associated with larger body size. Studies have shown that men subconsciously deepen their voices when faced with romantic competition. If you’re with a guy who’s speaking more deeply than usual, he’s trying to stand out from the crowd.
- Eyebrow raise Blink and you’ll miss this clue. When a person first makes eye contact with the person they’re attracted to, they flash their eyebrows. It takes only a fraction of a second, but relationship experts claim it’s one of the most reliable signs that a person is into you. Even more surprising, however, is that, if you’re attracted to the person, you will respond to their split-second eyebrow flash with your own. Without knowing it, he has asked you a question and you have responded.
- Tight hand-holding You may think that any variation of hand-holding is a sign that a guy likes you, but not all hand-holding is created equal. If he’s squeezing your hand rather than holding it so loosely that you’re having to cling to his, it’s a sign that he wants to be closer to you, not just humor your desire for contact.
- “Preening” Like exotic birds in the rainforest, human men tend to groom themselves for females they’re attracted to. Part of this will happen consciously before going out (picking the right clothes, shaving, etc.) but if a guy is talking to a girl he’s into, he’ll start subconsciously straightening his tie, smoothing his hair, or tugging at his cuffs. These gestures indicate that he’s trying to look good for you, or that he’s nervous that his appearance isn’t up to your standards.
- Crossed arms If his arms are crossed, you may be knocking on the wrong door. Depending on the context, crossed arms can indicate defensiveness, resistance, and even stress. If he seems nervous around you, he may be crossing his arms as a form of self-protection. However, if he doesn’t seem anxious, his crossed arms may indicate that he isn’t interested.
- Dilated pupils Our pupils widen when we’re looking at someone we’re attracted to. Feelings of sexual arousal and romance prompt the release of oxytocin and dopamine, hormones that flood our bodies with a sensation of warmth and pleasure while also causing our pupils to dilate. If his pupils are looking bigger than usual when he looks at you, he’s probably experiencing a surge of attraction.
