How To Avoid Being Taken For Granted By A Guy

No one wants to feel like they’re being taken for granted in a relationship. To prevent it from happening to you, make sure you teach your boyfriend how to treat you. Here are 10 ways to ensure he’s all about gratitude, not taking you for granted.

  1. Show him how much he means to you. Make sure that you show him that you value him! After all, you can’t expect him to treat you well if you don’t treat him with respect. Appreciation works both ways.
  2. Put your needs up front. It’s never a good thing to put your needs on the back-burner when you start dating a guy because this makes him think, “Ah, she’s putting me first so I don’t have to appreciate her.” When he sees that you care about yourself, it will teach him to show you the same level of care and respect.
  3. Speak up and say no! If you don’t want to do something, don’t be a “yes” woman and do it just to please him. You might as well roll onto the floor and let him walk all over you.
  4. Let him know about your boundaries. Your boundaries are those things that tell your partner they can’t cross certain lines. If you make sure that they know where your boundaries lie from the start, then they’ll know to respect them. If you enter a relationship with zero boundaries, you’re basically saying that you don’t value yourself.
  5. Nip bad behavior in the bud. One of the easiest ways to get taken for granted is not to speak up when your partner does something to upset you. If you let the small things slide, they’ll get the idea that they can get away with more. You don’t need that crap in your life.
  6. Make your worth number one. It’s easy to focus on his worth and why he’s so great, but bring it back to you sometimes. You should never forget that you’re a catch and you’re a valuable person. When you keep this in your mind, it will prevent you from being treated unfairly because you’ll make yourself a priority. You’ll also feel empowered because you’ll remember that you’d be just fine without him. Yup, that’s how worthy you are.
  7. Don’t bend over backward. You don’t have to try super-hard to please him or show him that you’re awesome to date. If you do that, you give him the message that he’s on a pedestal and you’re going to worship him. No, no, no. Put yourself on that pedestal, ladies! You don’t have to convince someone to like you.
  8. Show him what he could lose. Sometimes it’s good to take a step back and let him chase you. It shows him that you’re not at his beck and call. If he’s treated you unfairly, taking some time for yourself can also help to show him that he has to treat you well otherwise you’ll be gone. This isn’t about playing games but making him realize that he can’t be a jerk and expect you to stick around. It’s one or the other, but never both.
  9. Don’t shake up your schedule for him. While it’s awesome to make some time for him, a really bad thing you can do when you first meet someone is to make them too much of a priority. You might, for example, cancel plans with your friends so that you can see him or cancel your weekly dance class that you love so you can help him with something. This is risky if you do it all the time because it makes him think you have no life and you don’t matter. If your loved ones, hobbies, and other commitments don’t matter to you, then what does that tell him?
  10. Don’t give him a toothache. It’s great to be a nice and sweet person, but don’t be too nice. You know, like by saying “yes” when you mean “no,” or by letting him take the lead on everything. That’s a bad start for a relationship. In time, he’ll just assume you’ll be down for anything because you’re always so nice and easygoing. Ugh. You have thoughts, opinions, needs, and wants – let him see them so he can see that he can’t just walk over you.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.