How To Fall Out Of Love With Someone You Still Have Feelings For

Falling in love is often quick and easy, but falling out of love? Not so much. It can be really difficult to stop loving someone, but it’s not impossible. Check out our guide on how to stop feeling so strongly about someone you can’t or don’t want to love anymore.

Why is it so difficult to fall out of love?

If you’re struggling to fall out of love with someone, don’t feel bad. It’s not just you! Very Well Mind explains that falling out of love with someone is really difficult because love is addictive. Your body goes through several hormonal changes when you’re in love, releasing chemicals that encourage pleasure, trust, and reward. Falling out of love is like beating an addiction in this way, but there are also other challenges. Falling out of love is hard because it may lead to fears that you won’t find someone else, or worrying about what others might think of you. So it’s not impossible to fall out of love with someone, but it’s also not easy.

Get everything off your chest.

The first step in falling out of love with someone, according to Art of Wellbeing, is getting everything off your chest. If you have unresolved feelings or thoughts, they could keep you from moving on in the way that you need to. So vent however you feel about that person. It can be really helpful to write them a letter detailing every last thing you want to say to them. Of course, you don’t have to send the letter. But getting those feelings out will propel you forward as you move on.

Figure out what you loved about them.

It can help to really get clear on what you actually love about that person. Is it their sense of humor? The way they make you feel desired? That their values align with yours? Try to come up with a list of all the things you were drawn to. This can help you in two ways. Firstly, you’ll be able to get a better idea of whether your love was actually healthy. For example, if you loved the excitement of chasing someone unavailable, you might have some inner work to do. And secondly, knowing what you love about that person will show you what you should look for in the next relationship.

Remember the bad times.

To fall out of love with someone, take off the rose-colored glasses. If you see them as perfect, it will be even more challenging to stop loving them. So see them for what they are, flaws and all. Even if it’s painful, try to remember all the bad times you had with them. It’s easier to fall out of love with someone who hurt you and caused you pain than someone who you’re glorifying in your head.

Compare your ideal partner to your ex.

Write a list of all the qualities that you’d like in an ideal partner. You can use your list of things you love about the person you’re trying to get over to help you. When you have a comprehensive idea of what your dream partner looks like, compare them to your ex (or the person you want to fall out of love with). Hopefully, you’ll see that your ex isn’t perfect. And you deserve someone who can give you what you want. Remind yourself that you have to give some things up to make room for better things in your life.

Implement the no-contact rule in your life.

The no-contact rule works wonders when trying to get over someone. Or in this case, fall out of love with them. This means you completely remove them from your life. No communicating with them, no stalking them on social media, no looking back at old photos or gifts they gave you. And no talking about them with your friends. As difficult as it is, you completely erase them from your life. In time, you’ll see that you can survive without them, and hopefully, replace their presence with things that actually serve you.

Find other things to be in love with.

A great way to fall out of love with someone is to invest your love elsewhere. While some people find that dating again and finding a new person to love can help, the truth is not everyone is ready to fall in love with someone new when they’re still getting over an ex. So instead, try falling in love with things. Find a new passion or hobby. Go to new places and fill up with wanderlust. You can still feel those feelings of love, but direct them to other places.

Talk to a professional.

Talking to a professional therapist can really help you fall out of love with someone. A professional will give you proven tips, advice, and strategies that will guide you towards falling out of love. But they’ll also be there to talk to when you it gets hard. The support of a professional can encourage you to keep going when you feel that it’s too hard to meet your personal development goals.

Give yourself time.

It takes time to fall out of love with someone. So don’t beat yourself up if it’s been a few weeks and you still love that person deeply. The process takes a different amount of time for everyone. And while you may never completely stop loving someone, you will get to a point where you aren’t attached to them. You just have to be patient.

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