If romantic relationships in general are complicated, there’s nothing trickier or more drama-filled than getting involved with a guy who’s already taken. Needless to say, this is not an easy position for anyone and while the likelihood of him dumping his current partner to be with you is slim, it’s not impossible. Here are some things you can do to get a married man to leave his wife and be with you instead.
- Look your best. Don’t get me wrong, looks aren’t everything. He isn’t going to end his marriage just because he finds you hot. However, if you find yourself involved with a married man, it never hurts to look your best. Looking hotter than his wife certainly won’t hurt you, especially if he feels like she’s stopped making an effort. Does this suck? Yes, it does. But you want the truth, right?
- Be supportive. If you expect a man to leave his wife for you, it helps to show him that you’ll always be there for him and be supportive of him. Give him positive reinforcement and let him know that you believe in him. A lot of marriages get into trouble because people take each other for granted. If you think that might be the case in his marriage, show that things will be different with you and that you’ll always be there for him.
- Stay away from his wife. This might be hard, but a confrontation with his wife isn’t going to help. Telling her about the affair could potentially turn both of them against you, ruining your chances of the guy leaving her for you. Remember that you don’t want to end their marriage. You want him to end it by choosing you over her. You also don’t want to do the guy’s dirty work for him. If you do, he might feel angry and emasculated, which will make him not want to be with you.
- Show but don’t tell. It rarely helps to push a guy into leaving his wife. You want to avoid telling him what to do or offering an ultimatum because you need him to want to leave his wife for you. Instead, just try to show him that you’re a better fit for each other than him and his wife. Find ways to show him that you have more in common. Let him know that the problems in his marriage won’t be there if he’s with you instead. Also, remember that these types of things don’t happen overnight. You have to be patient and gentle when trying to get a married man to leave his wife.
- Know where you stand. While it’s important not to push too hard, you also can’t let a married man string you along. Guys, particularly married ones, will always have their cake and eat it too if you let them. You have to make him be honest with you about where you stand and where he sees this relationship going. Don’t let him evade questions or give you broad answers like “someday” he’ll leave his wife. Make him tell you when and how it’s going to happen or else it’ll never happen and you’ll always be the other woman.
- Go out in public. Most of the time, affairs with a married man will begin in secret. But if it’s going to go somewhere, the relationship has to go out in public at some point. If the affair stays behind closed doors, he’ll never leave his wife. Even if it’s a little risky, make the guy take you to public places. It will make it seem like a real relationship and get him a little more comfortable with the idea of leaving his wife. Think of it as getting one step closer to him actually choosing you over his wife. Plus, the bottom line is that if a guy isn’t brave enough to go out in public with you, he’ll never be brave enough to end his marriage.
- Don’t work around his schedule. The longer the affair goes on, the less willing you should be to cater to his schedule and work around his marriage. If you always work around his schedule, it just makes it easier for him to stay married and have an affair. Play a little hardball and make him show you that you’re a priority. Otherwise, there’s a good chance he’s not going to leave his wife. Plus, when you’re not so easily accessible, he’ll start to miss you, which can’t hurt.
- Stop sleeping with him. Eventually, if a guy is reluctant to leave his wife, you have to take something away from him. Show him that he can’t have it both ways anymore. Obviously, this won’t make him happy, but it will make him miss you. It will also make everything real for him and make him decide if he really wants to be with you or not. Think of not sleeping with him as a way to give a married man an ultimatum without actually giving him one. Doing so will almost force a guy to decide whether he wants to leave his wife for you or not.
