Raise your hand if you often find yourself standing in the way of your own success. Whether you’re holding yourself back because of doubt, procrastination, or a fear of failure, this is something everyone deals with at some point. The good news? There are strategies you can use to break free from this cycle and finally move the barricades that have been blocking you from what you’re capable of.
1. Admit that you’re in your own way.
It sounds obvious, but the first step towards getting out of your own way is actually admitting that you’re in your own way. Why? Because in order to change or improve, you have to shine a light on what’s not currently working. In most cases, it’s your limiting beliefs, which are beliefs and negative self-talk that have been deeply ingrained from past experiences. So, take the time to write down your thoughts so you can identify which ones are holding you back.
2. Identify your “why.”
What makes you want to hop out of your bed in the morning and get stuff done? Whatever your answer is, that’s your “why.” Knowing your why is important because it helps you live with intention rather than just operating on autopilot. It allows you to be your best self and live your best self, which contributes to getting out of your own way. Whether it’s creating a business that gives back to your community or raising a family, your “why” should be the thing that sparks your passion and purpose.
3. Cut out the toxic people in your life.
You know that one friend who you kind of hate but have kept in your life purely because you’ve “known them forever”? Well, it might be time to cut them out. If you’re constantly spending time with someone who sucks your energy or is always negative, it’s likely rubbing off on you. And nothing gets in your way more than a negative outlook—it causes you to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors and perpetuates feelings of worthlessness. Not good.
4. Seek out people who have what you want.
Once you cut out those toxic people, you’re going to want to find a more supportive and aligned community. When you spend time with like-minded people who have similar goals and aspirations to you, it’s motivating. Connecting with others helps you foster a sense of belonging, support, and inspiration which can help you realize your own worth and value. If that doesn’t empower you to get out of your own way, we don’t know what will.
5. Stop comparing yourself.
In the age of Instagram and TikTok, it can be extremely hard not to compare yourself to other people. Every time you log onto LinkedIn, you’re flooded with other people’s accomplishments, how could you not? But most of the time, comparison isn’t serving as a source of motivation, it damages your sense of self-worth and makes you feel less than. So, rather than seeing others as direct competition, measure your success against yourself. It sounds silly, but you can’t compare your very unique individual path to someone else’s very unique, individual path, and doing so is only getting in your way.
6. Make space for your weaknesses.
You don’t have to be the best at everything you do. Would it be cool? Sure. Is it necessary in order to advance in life? Absolutely not. The thing is, no matter how hard you work on yourself there will always be weaknesses—that’s just a part of being a human. But weaknesses are fantastic teachers—they can point you in the right direction for change. So make space for these parts and give yourself time to grow. Before you know it, you’ll be out of your own way.
7. Play up your strengths.
It’s easy to get in your own way when you don’t actively recognize your strengths. But here’s the truth: negative inner dialogue has no chance when you can call out the things you’re good at. First, make a list of everything you excel at, what you like about yourself, and all the things you’ve accomplished. Try to lean into those traits in your daily life and keep the list handy so you can use it as a reminder when your inner critic pops up.
8. Forgive your mistakes and then learn from them.
No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. When you mess up it can feel awful, but letting it completely deter you is just you getting in your own way. That’s because living with the fear of screwing up can stop you from living out your full potential. It’s okay to give yourself grace when things don’t go perfectly. Making mistakes is all about growing, learning, and then improving—don’t let them be an unnecessary setback.
9. Say daily affirmations.
You might have heard about affirmations on the internet, but in case you don’t know what they are, they’re positive sentences or phrases that can help you overcome negative and self-sabotaging thoughts. When you repeat these phrases daily, they start replacing your subconscious’s negative stories (that you probably aren’t even aware you’re telling yourself) with positive, self-affirming beliefs. Try them and watch how life-changing they are when it comes to getting out of your own way.
10. Practice empathy and compassion.
A great way to get out of your own way is by shifting your focus away from yourself and towards others. It sounds counterintuitive, but when you can empathize with others and show compassion for what they’ve been through, it helps you gain perspective that you’re not alone in facing challenges and struggles. On the other hand, it also makes you appreciate the good things in your own life, gaining a deeper appreciation for the opportunities you have in front of you. It can spur a newfound desire to get the heck out of your own way—and stat!
11. Take accountability.
©iStock/LuminaStock
When you take personal accountability, it’s empowering because it allows you to take control of your life instead of believing you’re powerless over what happens. Accepting responsibility for your actions and choices shifts your mindset from victimhood to agency, which allows you to break free from those limiting beliefs we talked about above. Instead, you get to focus on what you can do to improve your situation and get out of your way.
12. Stop saying “I can’t.”
There’s a reason the saying, “Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right” is so popular. It sounds simple, but it’s just another mindset shift that can take you from barricading yourself from possibility to opening yourself up to all of the great things life has to offer you. When you assure yourself that you can do something you become more confident. And even if you’re unsure of how you’re going to get it done, you’ve still instilled the belief in yourself that you’re going to figure it out.
13. Reevaluate your expectations of yourself.
Your younger self had a very specific vision for who you’d be today. But your younger self didn’t know the unique circumstances you’re in, and those lofty expectations can lead to pressure, self-doubt, and—the worst—burnout. You don’t want that, so instead of clinging tightly to an outdated image, reevaluate what you actually want. Start small by asking yourself what matters and what’s doable and then keep reevaluating until you get to a healthy place. This not only helps you grow self-compassion, but it also helps you become more flexible and adaptable, giving you the ability to adjust to your goals and get out of your own way.
14. Celebrate the small shifts.
iStock/JLco - Julia Aramal
A lot of people measure success by how many big breakthroughs they have. But it’s not always going to shake out that way. When you fixate on huge achievements and major milestones, you completely disregard the importance of small step-by-step progress. When you can recognize and celebrate small shifts and wins, you’re more easily able to cultivate a sense of accomplishment and motivation, which only fuels you more toward those big goals.
15. Release some control.
It’s natural to want to control everything, especially when it feels like there’s a lot on the line. But micromanaging every aspect of your life just so you can have a semblance of predictability only leads to stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. When you can relinquish some control over the minor details and start to trust the process, you create so much space for good things to unfold. This energy shift towards the bigger picture (a.k.a what truly matters) gives you a sense of freedom because you’re no longer getting bogged down by insignificant little things.
16. Embrace change.
We’ll level with you: change can really suck. But there’s a positive side to it: it’s an opportunity for transformation, When you can embrace change, you open yourself up to so many more possibilities and experiences because you’ve broken free from outdated mindsets and the stagnation of your unhelpful routines. It also allows you to step out of your comfort zone and confront your fears, which can only help you grow.
17. Talk to yourself nicely.
Most people’s internal dialogue can sound harsh and critical. We don’t know about you, but we don’t want to live like that—all it does is fill you with self-doubt and negative vibes. An important aspect of getting your own way is creating a more supportive and nurturing relationship with yourself. When you say nice things to you, you build self-confidence and it motivates you to overcome anything life throws your way with determination and a positive attitude. The golden rule: treat yourself as you would your best friend.
18. Actually take action.
This may sound obvious, but it’s a step that a lot of people skip. Talking to yourself positively, embracing change, and all the other stuff is half the battle—the other half is actually taking action. Your thoughts and intentions are so important, but at the end of the day, it won’t matter if you don’t take concrete steps to get what you want done. When you take action, it forces you out of inertia and into a place where you can learn, experiment, and grow. So break free from action paralysis and move towards your goals with purpose.
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