How to Get Over A Breakup Quickly And With Ease

They say it takes the amount of time you were with someone to move on from them when the relationship ends, but in some situations, that could take years! It doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s how to get over a breakup quickly and with ease.

1. Talk or write about it. After a breakup, you’ll feel all sorts of emotions, including anger, sadness, shock, and guilt. It’s important to process these emotions by talking through them with a friend, family member, or professional. They’ll help you to take the critical lens off of yourself and move on. If you feel like it’s too much of a bother to your loved ones to constantly talk about your breakup, try journaling instead. It’ll help you to notice patterns in your thoughts and let out feelings that need to be let out.
2. Go out with your friends. Your friends can be your biggest support system after a breakup. They’ll help to remind you of the person you were before your relationship. On top of that, you’re bound to have fun with them and forget about your ex. So, instead of staying in your bedroom all day wallowing over the breakup, accept your friends’ invitations to go out. You won’t regret it.
3. Keep your distance from your ex. This one may seem obvious, but keep your distance from your ex if you want to get over your breakup with ease. That means avoiding meeting up with them in person, talking to them on the phone and talking to them on social media. In fact, it’s probably best if you remove them from your social media altogether.
4. Remove painful memory triggers. Regular reminders of your ex can delay the healing process. So, remove reminders of your ex. That means getting rid of photos and tokens from your dates. It can also mean changing up your routine. If you always visited the same coffee shop together, try the one down the street instead.
5. Avoid rebound relationships. Right after a breakup, you may be feeling lonely and desperate. This can lead to the mistake of entering into a rebound relationship. But, rebounds are not a good idea. You’ll most likely carry over your emotions from your last relationship and end up in a negative cycle. So, avoid jumping into a relationship until you’ve processed your emotions and feel ready.
6. Remind yourself of your ex’s negative traits. Nobody is perfect, not even your ex. But, we sure can convince ourselves otherwise, especially after a breakup. It may help to write down a list of your ex’s negative traits–from the annoying little things they did to more serious traits or habits. This will remind you of the incompatibilities in the relationship and will help you to move on faster.
7. Create a music playlist. Music is the universal language. There’s literally a song out there for every emotion you could possibly be feeling after a breakup–from anger to sadness to jealousy. Put one on and sing to your heart’s desire. It may be cathartic for you, as it was for the musician who created it. There are also uplifting songs that can help you to move on or songs that just put you in a good mood. Keep a variety on your playlist.
8. Make a vision board. After a breakup, you might be thinking that the future is bleak. Well, it’s time to change that. Create a vision board and figure out what your life will look like without your ex. This can instill feelings of hope and give you something to look forward to. So, grab some magazines and cut out images that mirror your goals and desires.
9. Explore new hobbies. When a relationship ends, you may be at a loss for what to do with yourself. Perhaps you and your ex did everything together and now you’re having a bit of an identity crisis. This is a good time to explore new hobbies. Not only can it help rebuild your confidence, but it’ll distract your mind from thinking about your ex.
10. Take a realistic trip down memory lane. We tend to look back on things we miss with a rose-colored lens. But, thinking realistically and logically about your previous relationship can help you to feel better. Instead of focusing only on the positives of your memories with your ex, try to remember the negatives, too. For example, that vacation you and your ex took may have been in a nice destination, but perhaps you got into arguments while you were there. Recalling things like this can help to remind you why you broke up in the first place.

Why it’s so hard to move on after a breakup

1. Love is like a drug. You know that insane rush you felt when you first met your ex-partner? It wasn’t all in your head. “Functional brain scans have shown that love is a form of addiction. We get used to having a certain substance, and that substance is a person and the relationship in our lives. Then during ‘withdrawal,’ we get desperate and act out of character,” explains Guy Winch, Ph.D., licensed psychologist and author of How to Fix a Broken Heart.
2. You forgot who you were without them. If you were in a long-term relationship, it’s only natural that your life and your partners began to get a bit muddled together. That’s why when it ends, you can suddenly feel at a loss because you can’t remember who you were and how you spent your time before you were together. This can cause a serious feeling of loss and devastation, but it does get better.
3. You don’t want to admit failure or start over again. This one is two-fold. On one hand, you hate telling the people you know that you broke up because you feel like that’s akin to admitting failure. You couldn’t keep the relationship going and that means you must be lacking in some way, right? (Not really, but that’s what your post-breakup brain is trying to tell you.) On the other hand, the idea of starting from scratch again with a whole new person is depressing at best and terrifying at worst. No wonder you want to cling to your ex even though you know they’re not right for you. Thankfully, if you follow the steps above, you can get over them and move on with your life.