I’m Not Just Taking The High Road — I Actually Want My Ex To Be Happy

I’m Not Just Taking The High Road — I Actually Want My Ex To Be Happy ©iStock/mapodile

I’m not interested in “winning the breakup.” I’m not going to cry if I find out my ex is getting married or having a baby, either. In fact, I’d be thrilled to hear that he’s doing well. It might sound crazy, but I actually want my ex to be happy.

  1. He made me happy. Sure, the end of our relationship was a bit painful, but for the most part, I had fun with him. Why would I have any ill will toward someone who used to make me smile? I only wish him the best.
  2. I don’t get jealous over silly little things. I don’t look at photos of my ex’s new girlfriend and wish I was on her level. In fact, if she’s pretty and successful, it’ll make me feel even better about myself, because it means I was with a guy with high standards.
  3. We weren’t right for each other. My ex wasn’t a horrible person. He just wasn’t the person for me. I genuinely hope that he’ll find someone out there who fits his personality better than I did, because we never would’ve worked, no matter how hard we tried.
  4. I don’t need the guilt. I don’t want to be the girl who ruined him for relationships or the girl who he fantasizes about while he’s having sex with other women. Knowing that I still have a hold on him would crush me. I hope he’s over me, because I’m sure as hell over him.
  5. I refuse to compare myself to other people. If my friend gets a promotion before I do, I’ll be happy for her. If my ex gets married before I do, I’ll be happy for him. We’re all on our own paths, which means we’re all moving at different paces.
  6. All in all, he’s a good guy. If he was some disgusting creep, I wouldn’t have dated him in the first place. I have high standards, which means that I only spend time with men who are worthy of my love and affection. I used to think he was the greatest thing in the world, so he must deserve to be happy.
  7. I hope I’ve taught him something. All of my breakups have taught me something important about life, love, or myself. I can only hope that I’ve taught my ex something that has helped him excel in his future relationships. If I didn’t, I’d feel like a failure.
  8. There’s too much hate in the world. There was a time when I was bitter over my old relationships, but I’ve moved on from that. I don’t want to hold hate in my heart. I’d rather spread the love.
  9. I’m not vindictive. I don’t need revenge in order to get closure. I’m sure he had a reason for doing what he did to me. I might not forgive him for everything that he’s done, but I’ve accepted it and moved past it.
  10. I’m genuinely happy without him. I’m happy without him, so I hope that he’s happy without me. It’s only fair.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.