Breakups can be confusing. They are even worse when you are the one that got dumped. You run through all the possibilities in your mind, trying to figure out why he didn’t want you. Was it you or was it him? If you’re not sure why your ex didn’t want you anymore, keep reading. Hint: it’s not always about you!
- You fought more than you made up. No one wants to be in a relationship where you fight all the time. You might even still love each other but you just can’t manage to stop fighting. It happens a lot when couples are so vastly different and have such opposing life goals that they disagree all the time. In your mind, it might be totally logical to move to that bigger apartment downtown, but if he’s all about a minimal lifestyle, he’s going to fight with you about it. There’s not one person at fault. He just couldn’t deal with the fighting anymore.
- You were just filling time for him. Some men don’t like to be alone. He was into you but he wasn’t in the relationship for the long haul. This might have been because he wasn’t ready for a commitment or it could have been because you didn’t check all the boxes on his list of qualities he was looking for in a woman.
- You wanted more than he could give. This isn’t to say that you were needy (although that’s possible). It’s more likely that he just wasn’t ready for the kind of relationship that you were expecting. He may have needed more time on his own or he might have been interested in seeing other women. Whatever the situation was, when a woman wants more than a man is able to give her, he’ll run faster than Forrest running from school bullies.
- You criticized him too much. Most men want to be with someone that makes them feel good about themselves most of the time. If he felt like you were always pointing out the things he did wrong instead of noticing the things he did right, that’s why he ended things.
- He fell for someone else. Not everyone is meant to be together and if two people aren’t working, one of them will start looking outside the relationship. If he thought he may have found someone that was more suitable and fell for her, it would be a good reason to end the relationship. It’s better than cheating, right?
- He felt you were distracting him from more important things. Maybe he wanted to travel. Maybe he wanted to pay more attention to his career. Or, maybe he just felt that he couldn’t give you the attention that you deserved at that point in his life, yet still be able to accomplish his goals.
- You were too self-absorbed. If you never paid attention to him when he had a problem, never listened to his side of things, and only thought about your own needs, he was likely thinking about breaking up with you for some time. It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and problems but in a relationship, it’s important to remember that there are two of you in it. You’re supposed to be in it together.
- He just didn’t see you as someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Not every relationship is going to work out. People are different and unique. Not every relationship is meant to last forever. If he saw this before you did, don’t feel bad. Sometimes it is hard to see who a person really is when we have feelings for them. We miss out on the fact that they like to argue (they call it debating) or the two of you never managed to find time for each other. Chances are, he just realized that the two of you weren’t going to work together much longer and decided to end it now before it ended badly.
- The two of you weren’t friends, only lovers. Love and sex are amazing and it can take you a long way but it won’t make a relationship last forever. In order for a relationship to last a long time, there has to be friendship. Eventually, the feelings of lust and desire will fade away and if you don’t have friendship left there’s nothing to stay for. Friendship, love, and desire are difficult combinations to find. If you didn’t have friendship in your relationship with him, it would have ended eventually, anyway.