There comes a time in most relationships when one or both people need a little space. To be fair, it tends to happen with men more often than women, but the important thing for women need to keep in mind is that this doesn’t mean the relationship is over. When a man starts to feel distant or tells you he needs a little space from the relationship, do this to indulge him without losing him completely.
Know why he wants space.
As highlighted by Forbes, understanding your partner’s motivations is critical in any relationship. If you sense he’s backing off, or he tells you he needs space, try to find out why. Granted, he may not be upfront with you, but do your best to understand the situation so you don’t drive yourself crazy because of the uncertainty. Keep in mind that you may not agree with his reasons for needing a little space, but you need to respect those reasons or else you’ll end up pushing him away for good.
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Set boundaries.
While it’s okay that he feels he needs space, the relationship doesn’t exist entirely on his own terms. If he claims the situation is temporary and that he’s still dedicated to making things work, it’s important for you to set boundaries in regards to what you’re comfortable with during this period and what’s not okay. If he respects and cares about you, he’ll still be willing to meet you halfway rather than insisting he gets his own way.
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Reduce texting but don’t stop entirely.
Giving a man space means seeing him less, but that doesn’t mean you should text him more. Messaging him non-stop when you’re taking some time apart is just going to drive him away. This doesn’t mean you have to stop contacting him altogether, it just means you need to be more economical. Make your messages short and to the point, avoiding long paragraphs. Just check in occasionally to see how he’s doing and tell him that you miss him. Men like to hear that, even when they need space from a relationship.
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Keep scheduling dates.
Admittedly, this seems counterintuitive to giving him space, but it’s not like you’re breaking up. Even if it’s once a week or once a month, keep making plans to see one another. After all, an open-ended separation is more or less a split. You should know when you’ll see each other next. If he’s not interested in making those plans, there may be deeper issues at play.
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Make sure time together is quality time.
On the occasional dates you have while respecting his need for space, make sure that time together is quality time. Do things you know he’ll like, or try some new things that might spice up the relationship. There’s no reason to act like you’re estranged. You can still find a way to make the time spent together special and show him what he’s missing without trying too hard.
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Trust him.
There are few things that drive a man away faster than showing him that you don’t trust him. This is particularly important when you’re spending a little more time apart. You don’t want to be constantly checking up on him or trying to figure out if he’s dating other people when he’s doing his own thing. Let him get on with it and trust that he’ll be ready to resume the relationship at some point. If you can’t trust him, you probably need to end the relationship rather than just giving it space.
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Embrace alone time.
Honestly, there’s no point in dwelling on the added space in your relationship. Like anything else in life, you have to embrace it and try to make the most of it. If you don’t find a productive use of your time, you’ll become needy and push your partner for a reunion before he’s ready. Most of the time, this will just drive him away. Do your own thing and enjoy your independence.
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Don’t try to make him jealous.
As tempting as it might be, trying to provoke his jealousy to make your partner rush back to you will never work. In fact, it may even drive him further away. As Psychology Today notes, you may do this to test his loyalty to you or to boost your ego as his distance is making you feel insecure. However, in the end, the most attractive thing you can do is so be completely outwardly unbothered, even if you’re freaking out a little inside.
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Figure out what you want.
One way to put your time to good use when a man needs space is figuring out what you want from the relationship. Clearly, the relationship is at something of a crossroads, so you need to know what you want out of it and where you’d like it to go eventually. When the time is right, let him know how you feel and how you want things to proceed once you’ve given him the space he needs. If your visions are the polar opposite of his, it may be time to walk away altogether.
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Have a deadline in mind.
Again, it’s okay to give a man space when he needs it, but it can’t be open-ended. Let him know that you’re okay taking a little more time apart, but that you want to get the relationship to get back on track at some point. You should have a timeline in mind for how long you’re willing to wait. At some point, you’ll need to share that deadline with him. Fortunately, most guys respond well to deadlines and boundaries. If he can’t commit to when he’ll be ready to pick up where you left off, you need to walk away.
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