There are few things more frustrating in modern dating than when a guy who you hang out with for months gets cold feet and ghosts you. It’s cowardly and embarrassing, frankly. But that’s his problem, not yours. It’s natural that you feel angry because you never got any closure. Here’s your opportunity to make sure he doesn’t do this again to anyone else unfortunate enough to consider him a partner. This is how to make a guy regret ghosting you and wish he never had.
Live your best life. Okay, this sounds like something straight out of a poster on your high school guidance counselor’s office, but hear me out. It’s a cliche for a reason. One of the best ways to make someone miss you and regret leaving you out in the cold is to show them precisely what they’re missing. In this case, take this opportunity as a fresh start. Reflect on what you have been missing out on and grow as a person. Identify what you want to do and do it. Go out and get drunk and have fun with your friends. Don’t give him a second of your time. The best offense is defense, after all. You don’t need to get in contact with him or think about him, just focus on yourself in a way that he never did.
Get therapy. In lieu of this, why not take the step that you thought about for years but never followed through with? Get down to the core issues that pervade your relationships. Think about ways you might have pushed him away and reflect on how you can negotiate them. While he’s trash for ghosting you, it does take two to break up a relationship. Become more well-rounded and self-aware while he continues in his toxic patterns. You will be better off by far for putting the effort in.
Have a girls’ weekend. This is essential. Downright medicinal, truth be told. This is a great way of pushing him out of sight and out of mind. You will think of nothing else except catching up with your friends, unwinding, and just getting down to the business of having fun. Time will fly by and you’ll feel like a teenager again. It wasn’t a great time for adolescent me, but heck she could hold her alcohol. Gather together for a trip out of town with the sole intention of enjoying each other’s company. No shop talk. Just vibes.
Don’t be shy on insta. Depending on how malicious we’re feeling, or how hard done by we feel, some Instagram spam could definitely be on the cards. Particularly if you continue to see his icon stalking your stories. Why not give him something to regret? Get all your friends together to brainstorm angles and captions and be shameless. He was.
Do all the things you never did together. Sometimes hindsight is 20/20, and it takes stepping outside the relationship to see how toxic it really was. You will look back and wonder, ‘did I really let him tell me to cut carbs and watch him play football in the cold every Sunday, only for him to ignore me and hang with his mates?’. It’s not your fault. Maybe he has his reasons for ghosting, but you will come to discover all the ways the relationship was wrong for you. Reclaim your hobbies. Impulse control? I don’t know her.
Block him. Simple as. Once you’ve got your Insta phase out of your system, there’s often a low after the high. When you’ve done your worst you might see the value of a retreat from the social consciousness. Leave things to the imagination. Give yourself a reprieve. Time and space without being in the public eye do wonders.
Experiment. Not that we’ve established what you don’t want out of a relationship, put some thought into what it is that you want. In order to truly establish this, you need to put words into action. Take some risks. Be spontaneous. Tell your friends where you’re going and be safe, but let people surprise you.
Cast the blame where it belongs. It’s natural to wonder if something you did or said, or something about you led to it. You might think you weren’t good enough. But the truth is, it isn’t about you. It’s all on him, the dumper who’s unable to have adult conversations. The first step to getting better is to stop making excuses for him. Putting yourself down with guilt never helps.
Don’t chase after him. You may obsess about finding closure, but it’s best to accept that you might never know why he left. So, if he hasn’t responded to your messages or calls, don’t continue to send messages or call endlessly. The last thing you want is to come across as desperate, needy, or weak.
Change your perspective. A failed relationship is also a successful one because you triumphantly dodged a bullet. Even though being ghosted is a hard pill to swallow, you should start to think that maybe your ghost boyfriend did you a favor. No longer do you have to deal with him. Think of it as a chance to learn and grow, and seize it.
Purge him from your life and your thoughts. The hardest part of dealing with ghosting is how to stop thinking about him and grow from the situation. To block him off, begin to act like he never existed. Deleting his number makes you less inclined to call him. Or better still, literally block him off on social media and anywhere there are traces of him. Also, get rid of anything that serves as a reminder of him.
Don’t let him know he’s gotten to you. Try not to get visibly angry or ask questions about his ghosting. This is a psychology game. He probably left you to see how you would react. If this is the case, being angry will give him satisfaction. It’s time to burst his bubble. Be polite toward him if you ever see him again, and definitely don’t send him drunk texts about what a jerk he is.
Ignore him. Sometimes ghosters may try to resurface subtly by liking your posts, sending a text, or commenting on your posts, among other things. Act like you didn’t see this if it happens. Don’t let his renewed attention sweep you off your feet or get to you. Give him a taste of his own medicine. Make it clear to him by your actions that you are too busy to notice.
Show him what he’s missing. Just because he left doesn’t mean you can’t be happy or your life has come to a halt. Let him understand that you are moving on fine by sharing happy pictures of yourself on your status. Yeah, you may have blocked him already, but sometimes ghosters find a way around these things to keep tabs on you. Or, who knows, he could hear from a little bird. So make him aware that you are happy and still beautiful nonetheless.
Do what you love. Spend time engaging in hobbies and pastimes you enjoy. Relationships are a time sapper, but now that you’re single again, you have more time on your hands to go back to what you’ve always loved doing. If there’s something you’ve been wanting to learn, now’s the perfect time to get to it!
Go on dates. It’s not too early to begin dating. Is there a guy lurking in the shadows who’s been waiting for the right moment to take you out for lunch? It’s time to finally say yes to him. Don’t allow your previous experience to get in the way of things. Besides, it’s not a bad idea to make your ex feel jealous. This shouldn’t be your sole reason for going out with someone new, though. If you ever go out on a date, do it for you.
Don’t drop your standards. Healthy relationships are built on clear boundaries. If you’ve already set good limits, play by your rules. Now’s not the time to lower them. Not for him, and not anyone else. Always prioritize what is most essential to you and do what is best for you.
Practice mindfulness. Regardless of how much it sucks, you’re definitely not alone when it comes to being ghosted. Anywhere between 13–23% of the people living in the U.S. have experienced ghosting, according to research. It’s definitely not worth it to waste emotions on someone who just disappeared like a fart in the wind. Mindfulness can help you control your feelings and lessen stress, anxiety, and depression. Take time to build resilience and, most importantly, keep your eye on your goals.