How To Spot An Emotionally Unavailable Man And How To Handle Him

If you’ve dated one too many guys who seem incapable of engaging in a mature, loving relationship and are sick and tired of wasting your time and energy on these dead-end connections, listen up. The only way to avoid getting yourself into these terrible situations is to spot the signs of an emotionally unavailable man before he ever has a chance to worm his way into your life. In case you’re not sure what to look for, here are a few hints.

He rarely shows affection.

An emotionally unavailable man won’t have much in the way of demonstrative affection to offer you. He might say that he’s just not the touchy-feely type or that he’s not into PDA as a way to disguise the truth, which is that he’s incapable of having a close connection with another human being in that way. That’s not to say he won’t have sex with you — his limitations seem to exclude getting between the sheets — but when it comes to more tender expressions like holding hands or cuddling, you get nada.

He never opens up or lets you in.

You can’t get close to someone if they won’t allow you to do so. An emotionally unavailable man doesn’t want to take any chances of being hurt or looking stupid or whatever it is he’s worried about by actually letting his guard down and opening up to you. Unfortunately, there’s no way you can ever have a meaningful relationship with any long-lasting potential without that.

He has a serious fear of commitment. 

Lots of guys have a fear of commitment, but generally speaking, they get to a particular point in life and/or meet a particular kind of woman that sorta kicks their butts into gear and helps them get over it. However, an emotionally unavailable man will avoid commitment like the plague well into his thirties, forties, and beyond because he doesn’t want the “baggage” (i.e. deep connection and responsibility) that comes with it. His loss!

He hasn’t had many real relationships in the past.

If you’re dating a guy who hasn’t had many relationships in the past, you may just assume that he’s a late bloomer and that you’ve gotten lucky to find such a great single guy. Wrong! Chances are, he hasn’t had many relationships because he lacks the emotional depth (or the willingness to go there) to start and keep them going. It’s sad really.

He often comes off as aloof or uncaring.

An emotionally unavailable man often seems like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He can be cold, aloof, and seemingly unfeeling because he shuts off and compartmentalizes the sides of him that would make him look “weak” or require him to be vulnerable in any way.

He rarely makes time for you.

You might think that availability to go on dates or just hang out at home would have nothing to do with his ability to connect on a deeper level, but that’s not the case. A lack of emotional availability means that he also lacks the ability to grasp the fundamentals of what make a strong, healthy relationship. You fit into his schedule when he can be bothered. Other than that, you’re on your own.

He bails when things get serious.

An emotionally unavailable guy will always hightail it out of there at the first available opportunity when things get too serious. Whether you have certain stresses and problems that mean you need to rely on him or you’re having issues between the two of you, he’s outta there. Don’t waste your time on a guy like this.

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