How To Stop Obsessing Over A Guy Who’s Not Into You And Move On

Look, I know you’re the total package, but some guys are a little slow on the uptake. Whatever the reason for his inability to see what a prize piece is right in front of his eyes, he just doesn’t feel the same about you. Sadly, lack of reciprocation of your feelings has done nothing to stop you from dedicating your every thought to him (even though you know he doesn’t deserve it). Here’s how to stop obsessing over the guy so you can move on with your life and leave him in the dust.

Face a few tough home truths. It can be really hard to accept that the guy you’re super into doesn’t feel the same. You feel like maybe he’ll come around once he has time to get to know you or that he’ll suddenly want a relationship instead of just sex just because you do – you just have to wait around long enough for the change to happen. Girl, no. The sooner you admit the truth of the situation to yourself, which at the crux is that it’s literally never going to happen for the two of you, the sooner you’ll be able to stop obsessing over the guy.

Get a life. I mean, I know you probably already have a job and some friends and stuff, but if you find yourself in a pattern of fixating over a guy who doesn’t even like you, you could stand to improve your life in a few ways. Maybe you want to go back to school part-time or start lifting heavier weights at the gym or joining a book club or something. Whatever it is, make sure you’re living a life you’re proud of and actually like waking up to every day. When that’s the case, you won’t have time to be obsessing over some dude who’s too dumb to be feeling you back.

Listen to your girls. Your girls serve many purposes in your life, but one of the biggest is to be your hype women. They’re there to remind you every day just how bomb you are and how anyone who doesn’t see and appreciate that isn’t worth your time, guys especially. Listen to them. They know you better than most people and will never let you forget your worth. The more you let their positivity sink into your head and heart, the easier it’ll be to stop obsessing over some guy.

Develop a stronger sense of self-worth. Oh yeah, about that self-worth… The reasons we tend to hang onto people who are toxic or just not serving us are largely down to a lack of self-worth. If we remembered just how valuable we are and how much we deserve in life, we would never lower ourselves to things that are beneath us, like losing time, energy, and sleep over guys (or anyone, for that matter).

Write it all down. Just because I’m trying to help you move on doesn’t mean I don’t think you should feel your feels. You can’t just compartmentalize everything and expect it to go away because life doesn’t work that way. You gotta go through it to get past it, right? Get a journal and write it all down. I don’t care how melodramatic or ridiculous it is, but getting all those crazy thoughts and feelings out of your body and onto paper will work wonders in helping to move past them.

Keep yourself busy. The easiest way to stop obsessing over a guy is to distract yourself so that there’s no brain space left for him. You shouldn’t work yourself into the ground or feel like you’re being run ragged, but sitting around moping is really not going to help. Make sure you’re filing your days and finding things to occupy your time. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to get over him once you do.

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