How to Take Control & Manifest the Love of Your Life NOW

True story: If you want to find the love of your life, you need to be proactive about it. Love isn’t just going to come up to your door, knock, and present itself. And, if someone does do that, you might want to seriously question their reason for it, and close and lock the door immediately. Maybe even call the police.

So, since manifesting the love of your life requires some effort on your part by taking control of the situation, here are the 11 things you need to do to make it happen now.

  1. Get off the couch. Seriously. Your Netflix will still be there when you get home. Besides, your couch has a damn dent in it, so give it a chance to look like a couch again.
  2. Talk to people. Talk to anyone, everyone; make conversation with the guy at your bodega, the woman next to you at Starbucks, or finally talk back to the guy you see on the train every morning.
  3. Go to new places. If your usual hangouts have produced nothing but the same scene over and over, it’s time to spice things up. Go somewhere, anywhere new.
  4. Don’t be afraid of eye contact. Far too often people try to avoid contact with strangers, but the thing is everyone starts out as a stranger in your life. So don’t be scared to let your eyes meet the glance of someone else.
  5. Never pass up the chance to go out with someone. So maybe the guy in accounting is really weird and you think his pleated pants are disturbing, but you never know if underneath those pants and that shirt that really needs to be ironed there’s something more. I’m not suggesting you don’t listen to your gut when it comes to creeps, but just don’t turn your back on the people whom you don’t think are your “type.”
  6. Ask people out. Not only should you not pass on the chance to go out with someone new, but you should also ask people out. If someone intrigues you, ask them out. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
  7. Keep your first dates short. Once you’ve dated long enough you’ll realize that if you’re not into someone you can tell in the first 20-30 minutes. Since that’s the case, quit doing dinner dates for first dates. Drinks will give you enough time to figure out if you’re interested or not, and allow you to double book.
  8. Don’t waste your time. Although everyone does deserve a second chance, if you’re trying to find the love of your life, you can’t waste your time on giving someone who isn’t the one, second and third chances to prove something they’re never going to prove. Don’t linger on people hoping to see something that clearly isn’t there. You’re doing both them and yourself a serious injustice.
  9. Be honest with yourself. When you start feeling like someone you’ve met could possibly be the one, go with it. Don’t shy away from pursuing it further. Make those drink dates into dinner dates.
  10. Put it all out there. Before you let yourself fall in love, you want to put your feelings out there and communicate them to the person in question. There’s nothing worse than being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, so make sure you’re on the same page.
  11. Let yourself fall. Once you know you’re both headed in the same direction, just let yourself go. Throw caution to the wind and fall in love. Of course there’s always a risk, even when it comes to finding the love of your life, but risk is something we all take in the name of love, and you know, deep down, you wouldn’t want it any other way.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.