How To Fix Your Love Life Once & For All

Men just like to break your heart. Or at least, that’s what it seems like. If you’ve had a rough time trying to find a guy who won’t screw you over, it’s easy to blame everything that went wrong on the men in the equation. But have you ever stopped to consider that YOU might be the one causing the demise of all your relationships? Before you start pointing fingers, try doing these things to fix your love life and become the hero of your own story.

  1. Take a break from dating. Sometimes the best thing you can do to find love is take some time off from looking for it. Constantly searching for love can be draining. You can start to have a poor outlook on dating and life in general. Stop making your love life a chore and just take a break. Who knows? Maybe the second you stop looking for love, it’ll find you.
  2. Hold out for the love you deserve. Maybe the reason you keep failing at love is that you keep settling for men who aren’t worthy of what you have to offer. Settling shouldn’t even be an option. You deserve respect and to be treated right. Becoming the type of woman who won’t lower her standards will help you attract the kind of guys who won’t screw you over.
  3. Learn from your mistakes. Have you defied the laws of biology by being the one perfect woman on Earth? Probably not. That means you’ve made mistakes just like everyone else does, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from them. Look back at the choices you’ve made in your love life, how they affected your partners, and how they contributed to the outcomes of your relationships. Accept that you’ve messed up a few times and then reflect on your errors so your past becomes a learning tool and not a waste of time.
  4. Be happy on your own. You need to stop waiting for a man to make you happy. Happiness doesn’t come from the person you’re with — it comes from within. Learn how to be happy on your own before worrying about jumping into a relationship. If you keep relying on your next boyfriend to bring you joy, you’re just going to end up dependent and miserable.
  5. Don’t let men determine your self-worth. If you feel worthless when you’re single, but priceless the second a guy shows interest in you, you’re not doing yourself any favors in the game of love. You’re desperate, and it’s going to show. Stop giving guys all the power. Your life has meaning regardless of how men feel about you, and once you realize that, you might just change your luck in love.
  6. Pick guys who bring out the best in you. Your problem may just be that you have bad taste. If you choose a man who brings you to the point of snooping, screaming, and fighting on a daily basis, then he’s obviously wrong for you. You need a man who makes your life better, not worse. Stop going for men you feel the need to change and start going after the guys who are great just the way they are.
  7. Don’t rush love. If you keep settling for guys who are just “good enough,” you might find contentment, but you won’t find true happiness. Love isn’t something you can plan. It won’t show up just because you want it to. Don’t rush into the arms of Mr. Wrong all because you want love now. At the end of the day, you need to realize that Mr. Right is worth the wait.
  8. Stop blaming men for everything. Not everything that’s gone wrong in your life can be traced back to a man. You made errors in judgment just like your exes did. Not all men are the same, and they’re not all going to hurt you. Quit blaming everything wrong in your life on the male population, and start owning up to the consequences of the choices you’ve made.
  9. Always make yourself a priority. When you do find love, don’t forget to keep loving yourself. You have needs just like everyone else, so keep making sure they’re met. You might love your partner, but that doesn’t mean you need to prioritize his wants, needs, and happiness over yours. You’re half of your relationship, and what you have with your partner will never survive if you stop caring about yourself.
  10. Be yourself. One of the best things to remember in the dating game is that you should never have to change who you are just to be with some guy. You should want a man who loves you for who you already are rather than morphing yourself into the girl you think he wants. True love is about wanting someone for exactly who they are, not the person you want them to be.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.