Tired of the machismo of alpha males and feeling a bit bored of the laissez-faire attitudes of beta males, I decided to give dating an omega male a try. “How bad could it be?” I wondered. Turns out, very bad. The relationship is one of the most frustratingly unfulfilling and demoralizing I’ve ever been in and I certainly won’t be repeating it.
What is an omega male?
As you can probably guess, an omega male is the exact opposite of an alpha male. Whereas alphas are natural-born leaders who tend to be extroverted and domineering, omegas are extreme introverts who tend to stick to themselves and make their own rules. In theory, this should be a good thing. It means that he’s self-assured, independent, and very headstrong. However, the qualities that omega males tend to love about themselves are the same ones that make them pretty terrible partners, as I was soon to find out.
Why dating one sucked so much
- He was extremely antisocial. The thing with omega males is that they’re very solitary creatures. They find comfort in their own company to a disturbing degree. Everyone should feel okay in their own skin, but my ex preferred his own company over that of anyone else’s. Because of this, he basically refused to meet my friends because it required leaving the house and talking to other people. He also never wanted to go out on actual dates all that often because there were “too many people around.”
- He was emotionally distant and liked it that way. He’d been on his own for a very long time when we met, meaning that he never really shared a deep emotional connection with another person, let alone a woman. He’d tell me he liked me, but it was always a lukewarm admission and I never really felt like he meant it. He wasn’t interested in having conversations about what was going on in his head or heart (or mine). He clearly preferred to keep things surface-level.
- He had major trust issues. An omega male tends to have serious trust issues, as I found out, largely because he lacks many exterior relationships. Guys like this don’t develop strong bonds with other people, meaning don’t place their trust in anyone else. They assume that they’re the only ones who have their own back and get paranoid very easily. It’s like they think everyone is out to get them all the time.
- He was stubbornly defiant for no real reason. My ex took independence to a whole new level. He worked for himself doing his own IT consultancy business online, which I later realized was largely because he couldn’t cope in a normal work situation with a boss giving him directions. He would go out of his way to go against anything I suggested just for the sake of it because he didn’t want to be “told what to do.” Even if it was something as simple as suggesting we get pizza for dinner, he would insist it had to be Indian so that he was in control of the situation. That got grating very quickly.
- He never made the effort to see me. You know you’re dating an omega male when most of his time is spent alone. Had I not made the effort to come over to his place a couple of times a week, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have lasted the six months we did. He just wasn’t bothered about hanging out and could go weeks without doing so if I didn’t initiate plans. He liked his company that much that he never wanted mine, which seriously sucked.
- He was exceedingly selfish. Not having relationship skills meant that he had no idea (or simply didn’t care about) how to have an equal partnership with someone else. My ex always came first in his life and that didn’t change even when we were dating. He never considered my feelings or what I liked. He wasn’t interested in my point of view or preferences. It was his way or the highway the whole time.
- His self-isolation gave him some pretty weird views. Because he spent so much time on his own, he also spent a lot of time online. Skulking around the echo chamber of the internet, specifically on some niche subreddits, gave him some pretty odd views. While he never said anything that made me scared for my safety, he did have some seriously messed up ideas about women and society. It was ultimately one of the things I couldn’t deal with.
- He couldn’t really have cared less if I was around or not. At the end of the day, I realized he didn’t care about me at all. He was so caught up in his own head that I was a second thought. That is if I was thought of at all. Dating an omega male sounded like a great opportunity to change my relationship dynamics. However, it ended up being a worse experience than I could have anticipated. Alpha males right make challenging boyfriends, but at least they give you something to work with.