I Hate Hugging — Get Over It

I consider myself to be a really warm and friendly person, but I seriously hate hugging. It’s a strange and ridiculous social custom that should seriously not exist. I shouldn’t have to be touchy-feely with people to show that I’m approachable. Here’s why I hate hugging so much:

  1. I like my space. Yes, I have personal space issues. I don’t think of them as issues, actually, because they are simply my personal preferences. I’m allowed to want to keep my physical distance from other people. It doesn’t make me weird. It makes me honest and true to myself.
  2. Hugging people feels weirdly intimate. Seriously, though — why does anyone who barely knows me expect that I’m going to press my body against theirs? What a creepily invasive thing to do. Stop touching me. We don’t need to touch each other. Compared to that, the good old double cheek kiss seems downright prudish.
  3. If I have to hug someone, it’ll be a girl. At least then it’s not so creepy… most of the time. We have all the same body parts and it doesn’t feel so much like dry humping for a few seconds. It’s nice once in a long while to get a hug if I’m feeling sort of sad or lonely or like I haven’t gotten any physical affection whatsoever in a while… which is often the case nowadays.
  4. Even then… it’s only okay with certain girls. If we’re hugging, do know that I consider you a very, very close friend. I feel the need to have some sort of personal connection and intimacy with a person in order to hug her. I don’t go around hugging acquaintances. Also, some people are just better at hugging than others. Sorry, but it’s true.
  5. I don’t like my body parts touching randoms. I can’t be the only one who hugs guys super awkwardly. I don’t want to do it in the first place, and then it’s happening and he’s going in and so am I and ugh and I try to hug him with just my arms and not my body and ugh! The worst! Why even bother? I don’t like putting my boobs on men, especially not men I don’t know well. Or maybe it’s even worse when they’re friends or family… ugh! No more hugs!
  6. It feels silly and unnecessary. I mean, really? What an outdated custom. I don’t need to hug you to show that I care about you. It’s about as dumb as shaking your hand. I’m not a germaphobe or a jerk. I just don’t want to hug you. If we’re close, you already know it, and you know me well enough to respect my non-hugging preferences.
  7. I can love someone very much and still not want to hug them. I don’t even hug my boyfriends. I might hold them, cuddle with them or hold their hands. I don’t feel like hugging makes any sense. An arm around the waist? That’s different. It doesn’t feel like we’re in some weird missionary position standing up. I feel weird hugging my brother or my dad too, because gross! I don’t want to press my body against the men in my family. Blech.
  8. Overly huggy people annoy me. Most people get my desire for personal space and respect it. Then there are those … usually near-strangers … who feel the need to hang all over me for no reason at every given moment. I’ve had coworkers like this – usually girls – who want to lean on me and hug me and put their heads on my shoulder all the time. Woman, I hardly know you! Get off of me!
  9. My body is my property. I get to choose what I want to do with it. You don’t get to be annoyed or put off or miffed because I don’t want to hug you. Get it through your head that it has nothing to do with you. Stop making everything about you. It’s about me and my boundaries. Get over it.
  10. People who get mad if I won’t hug them can GTFO. This goes for men and women. Women get all weird, like we aren’t cool or something just because I don’t want to have a boob smashing ritual. My real friends get it and they either don’t care or they don’t like hugging either. Men, though, are the worst. It’s like they think they have some license to touch me, and if I won’t let them, suddenly I’m some kind of weird bitch. No, I’m just not some dumb girl who will give you everything you want. Get used to it. I’m not going to change.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.