I Lost 100 Pounds But He Wanted The Fat Me Back

When I met my boyfriend, I thought I’d hit the jackpot because he said size didn’t matter to him and he liked curvy girls since there was more of us to love. It was amazing to be loved despite my weight, but when I ballooned to 230, I knew I had to slim down for the sake of my health. I lost 100 pounds but instead of being proud of and happy for me, my boyfriend resented the change.

  1. He claimed I’d become a different person. He said my weight loss goals and focus on fitness were all about me and not about him. He said he was a guy who needed lots of attention and a partner who’d always be by his side when he needed her. He made me feel like taking care of myself was a selfish thing but deep down, I knew it wasn’t.
  2. Apparently, I’d turned into a bitch. When I asked him to explain why he felt that way, he said that losing weight made me uppity, mean, and too outspoken. More than once he’d tell me to eat a burger and get over myself. I could feel the distance growing between us and knew the problem wasn’t me, it was him. He couldn’t handle my growing confidence so he attacked me rather than reflecting on why that was.
  3. My new body didn’t turn him on sexually anymore. The more weight I lost, the more he reminded me that he liked plump girls and I didn’t turn him on anymore. He began to sleep on the couch or he’d turn his back to me in the bed. He stopped touching me, kissing me, and taking me out. The last straw came when he said an inflatable doll was sexier than me.
  4. He was jealous when other guys gave me attention. I’ve always been friendly and outgoing and can strike up conversations with just about anyone, but he couldn’t stand it when other guys looked at me, smiled at me, or said flirty things. He always grabbed my hand and led me away in a huff. We had so many fights about it and I could never make him understand that I had no control over the attention guys gave me.
  5. He tried to tear me down by insulting and belittling me. He said I was losing weight and getting new clothes so I could get a new boyfriend. He said I was ugly and insisted that I’d never keep the weight off. He said he wanted the fat me back. I was crushed at first, but I had to wonder: did he really ever love me at all? I knew I wasn’t what he signed up for, but was this really a deal breaker?
  6. He sabotaged my diet. He deliberately brought home fast food and sweets and ate them in front of me, waved them around in my face, and either dared or begged me to eat them with him. When I stuck to my guns and ate salads or other healthy meals, he said I was trying to make him mad on purpose. He couldn’t deal with the fact that he couldn’t control the food I ate.
  7. He flirted with bigger girls in front of me. Just to rub it in and reinforce the fact that I was no longer his type, he would intentionally flirt with big girls at the grocery store or while we were walking in the park. He tried to use this to make me jealous and gain some extra pounds back but I refused. Instead of making me want him more, it just drove the wedge in a little deeper.
  8. He accused me of cheating on him. He said me going out of the house for my daily walks and going to my fitness group once a week meant that I had to be seeing someone. He went through my phone, called back numbers he didn’t know, showed up at my fitness meeting to make sure I was there and asked my friends if I was seeing another guy. He seemed really desperate to get me to change my healthy routines but it was never going to work.
  9. He said he couldn’t love me at my size. This was the final straw. I turned this around on him and reminded him that when we first met, he said size didn’t matter to him and he loved me for who I was inside. He said he didn’t feel that way anymore and I’d changed too much, so I gave him an ultimatum: love me how I am or it’s over.
  10. Life is good now that he’s gone from my life. I broke up with him soon after that and I’m glad I dropped him when I did. He never once spoke to me after we ended things and I didn’t let it get me down. Life is good now. I have my teaching career, I’m maintaining my weight, and I’m helping others by leading a wellness class twice a week. My self-image has improved drastically over the years, inside and out. Totally worth dropping the dead weight.
A freelance writer, photographer, and artist who lives in Ky. Love cooking, baking, and spending time with family and friends.
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