I’d Rather Be Turned Down Than Waste My Time

I’d Rather Be Turned Down Than Waste My Time ©iStock/gremlin

Being rejected by a guy isn’t a great feeling, but over the years I’ve learned not to sweat it. After all, if you aren’t as sure about me as I am about you, I’d rather be turned down now than waste my time on a relationship that’s never going to work out in the long run.

  1. I don’t want a pity date. Do not, under any circumstances, ask me to go out with you because you think it’s what I want. I want it to be what YOU want. I don’t need to be wined and dined for a night and then ditched. If you aren’t feeling it, don’t ask me out.
  2. I don’t want to be used. Please don’t see this as an opportunity for you just to have someone there. That’s not why I’m here and I would really appreciate it if you saved me the embarrassment. I’m not okay with being used, so if you aren’t interested in something more serious, neither am I.
  3. I’m not a booty call. This is not an opportunity to “hit it and quit it.” If you know I have feelings for you, please be an adult and respect that. Take your male hormones out of the equation and think rationally before deciding to hurt me.
  4. I don’t want fake feelings. Don’t fake your feelings because you’re lonely or bored. I feel bad for you if that’s the case because I’m perfectly fine being alone. Don’t jeopardize my feeling because you thought it would be fun to pretend like you felt something.  That’s not what I’m here for.
  5. I want your honesty. Be honest with me from the beginning. If you aren’t interested, just tell me so I don’t get caught up in my feelings. Seriously, do me the favor and tell me to back off if you need to. I’d rather be hurt right off the bat, rather than down the road when I’m much more invested.
  6. I want to hear what you really think about me. Don’t make up some dumb excuse as to why you don’t want to be with me. Trust me, I can take it and would love to hear what you have to say. If you don’t like me, fine. You at least owe me a true explanation.
  7. I want to cross you off my list. I don’t need you! If you’re too dumb to realize what you’re missing, I need to check you off my list. I’m more satisfied knowing you aren’t the one for me right away than realizing that when it’s too late.
  8. I just don’t want to waste my time. Just be real from the beginning. I can take it, I’m a big girl. Don’t mess with my feelings because you’re bored, confused, feeling bad or horny. I’d much rather be turned down by you than waste my time.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia