To The Guy Who Was A Stage-5 Clinger: That’s Not Cute

To The Guy Who Was A Stage-5 Clinger: That’s Not Cute ©iStock/Squaredpixels

You need to get a grip. It’s not attractive to constantly beg for a woman’s attention and get pissed when she won’t give it to you. You obviously have some deeper issues to work through and I hope you get there. Here are a few hints to keep you from attaining stalker status in the meantime:

  1. Dating you was like having a child to raise. I don’t have kids because I don’t want to spend my day doing chores for someone. So why would I want a full-grown man who behaves like a baby? Your lack of self-sufficiency and motivation makes my vagina close down for business. If you don’t know how to do your own laundry or wash your own dishes, I’m not interested.
  2. You have to get a life of your own.  What did you do before you met me? I know that you had to have some sort of life, but you dropped it immediately so we could do EVERYTHING together. I didn’t like that, not one little bit. It’s attractive when a guy has a lot going for him. Maybe you think that women want men who are only about them, but that’s not true, at least not in my case.
  3. You abandoned your friends… and everything else.  I want to know about you and learn about what you like too. I want you to help me expand my world. Don’t be the tag-along boyfriend who has nothing to talk about except what you and your girl have been doing. Please, go spend some time with your boys, for the love of God.
  4. I don’t want to spend my entire days having sex and lying around in bed. Yeah, that’s fun once in a while. There’s a time and place for that but I’m also a grown woman with a lot of crap going on. I don’t have time to spend all day doing nothing. It might happen once in a very long while, but most likely I’ll want to spend that free time doing something creative and adventurous. We can have sex afterwards, but I’m not sleeping in until noon with you every day.
  5. You can’t get butt-hurt when a girl needs her space. It’s so unattractive when a guy is needy. I’m not needy, and I like to have my time alone. I can like you without wanting to spend every second of every day with you. I promise it’s possible. Nothing makes me want to spend less time with you than you wanting to spend all your time with me.
  6. You’re not allowed to invite yourself along to everything. You have your own friends and I want to spend time on my own with my friends, and not to be mean, but you aren’t welcome. I have a life separate from you that’s been around a lot longer than you have. There’s a time and a place for you to accompany me. I’ll let you know when that comes up.
  7. You think you’re being sweet and loving, but you’re being immature. All your attention only showed me that you have a lot of growing up to do. If you were a secure, mature man, you wouldn’t need to attach yourself to me that way.  I’m sure there are a lot of girls out there who would like this kind of attention but I’m not that girl. I’ve grown and matured and I understand the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one.
  8. All that clinginess was pretty much the biggest turn-off in the world. Are you still wondering why we didn’t work out? Here’s why. I don’t want to be with someone who makes me his entire world. It’s too much pressure, and I got sick of being around you. It showed me how incompatible we are and that you need to do some personal, internal work. I don’t want to go about my days annoyed that I feel obligated by some guy to spend every second with him. It’s not who I am.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at