If He Sucks At Kissing, It’ll Never Work

If He Sucks At Kissing, It’ll Never Work ©iStock/fotografixx

Kissing has always been one the most intimate and highly anticipated parts of a relationship. It’s also an indicator of whether or not you have any chemistry. So what if he can’t kiss worth crap? Just smile and find a polite way to get the hell out of there. You deserve a great kisser and it’s not your job to teach a grown ass man to use his lips.

  1. What else can’t he do with his mouth? It’s always a good idea to give a guy advice on oral so he gets it just right for you. But if he’s a horrible kisser, he’s going to be even worse at oral. Obviously if he can’t kiss your lips, he’s not going to be much better with your vagina.
  2. Kissing’s not that complicated. You learn your own personal technique along the way, but honestly, kissing isn’t all the complicated. Some are naturals, but usually you learn what works by the time you’re in your early 20s at the latest. It’s never a good sign when he can’t get something that simple right.
  3. You shouldn’t have to train him. Are you dating a puppy or a person? You shouldn’t have to sit around training him on how to kiss. If he can’t even follow your lead, he’s not going to even begin to understand what you’re telling him. It’d be easier to train him to be your personal shopper.
  4. Good luck being satisfied. If he hasn’t even put the effort into learning how to kiss, good luck on ever being satisfied. You’re looking at a lover who’ll probably last 30 seconds and then tell all his friends how he rocked your world. You’ll just wonder what the hell happened or if anything actually happened at all.
  5. What else is he slacking on? When he can’t kiss worth crap, it’s not the only area he’s slacking off on. Welcome to the man-child. He’s the master at doing everything half-assed. Forget great conversation, compromising and giving a damn what you want. Odds are, you’ll probably be footing all the bills too.
  6. Is this the first time he’s met a woman? After kissing a few women, men usually figure out the basics of kissing. It’s rare for someone to be great the first few times. It’s a talent you learn. So, if he’s this bad at it, are you his first? It’s enough pressure if you’re with a virgin, but a virgin at kissing? Is that even a thing?
  7. You’re going to have to do all the work. Hopefully you enjoy being in charge. You’re going to have to do everything when it comes to kissing, touching and physical intimacy in general. He’s going to be clueless and obviously he hasn’t learned crap from his previous experiences. If you enjoy a challenge, by all means stay. If you’d rather be satisfied, run away now!
  8. He’s going to be an arrogant ass. Either no one has told this guy he can’t kiss or he actually thinks he’s good at it. If it’s the latter, you’ve got an arrogant ass on your hands. You could call him out on his lack of lip skills, but he’ll just call you the bad kisser. No matter what goes wrong in the relationship, it’s going to be your fault. It’s not worth your time.
  9. How are you even getting turned on? Kissing is the number one, must-have foreplay. Without it, sex doesn’t feel the same. So, if he’s can kiss worth crap, how the hell are you even getting turned on? Are you taking a bathroom break to do some personal foreplay? If so, just dump his ass and take care of your own needs.
  10. Kissing’s vital to great sex. It’s foreplay, an easy way to tell your partner if something feels great or not, a way to feel more connected during sex and absolutely necessary if you want the possibility of great sex. Not only is a bad kisser a turn off, but it’s all you’ll be able to think about during the inevitable bad sex.
  11. It’ll ruin how you kiss. You really, really like this guy. That’s great. You want to make it work, so you decide to just deal with the bad kissing. You’re just making it worse for yourself when the relationship ends and it will end. The longer you’re with him, the worse you’re kissing skills get. You end up simplifying what you do to match him and by the next guy, you’re the one who can’t kiss worth crap.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.