I have one bit of advice for the woman receiving mixed signals: BAIL. It may be tempting to analyze every text and gesture and figure out deeper meanings, but believe me, he’s not deep and complicated in a desirable way — he’s just a disaster waiting to happen. Don’t waste your time seeing how things play out — run!
- He doesn’t know what he wants. Mixed signals guy could be all over the place because he’s unsure of what he wants. You need a man who immediately recognizes your value and doesn’t weigh you out as a possible option. If he’s unsure about you now, there’s nothing to stop him from becoming unsure again down the road. Why would you want to be with someone that needs time consider if you’re good enough? As the saying goes, “If you’re hesitating between me and another woman, pick her.”
- He’s not interested in monogamy. He could be genuinely interested in you, and also genuinely interested in other people. Often times, mixed signals mean they like you to be around when they want you, but also want some distance for when they want something else. Sending mixed signals is an easier way for a douchebag to get what he wants than being honest.
- He’s a liar. No matter how you look at it, sending mixed signals is a form of lying. He either cares for you more or less than his words and actions indicate. Either way, he ends up being a liar. And a relationship built on lies isn’t worth anything.
- It’ll drive you nuts. You shouldn’t have to put up with this amount of inconsistency and unreliability. Tolerating this and attempting to evaluate his nonsense is enough to drive anyone nuts.
- You’re not his shrink. It’s not your job to figure out all his issues for him. If he’s not willing to sort himself out on his own, there’s really no point in you trying to do it for him. You don’t want a man that makes your responsible for all his problems.
- Your friends don’t want to play detective. You will end up constantly running to your friends for second and third opinions about what his various mixed signals mean. They might have fun with this for a week or two, but eventually the efforts to crack his code will get old. You will just annoy them by continuing a pointless conversation.
- It’s too early in the relationship for drama. Don’t you deserve a honeymoon stage? Relationships only get harder the deeper you get in. If it’s not bliss in the beginning, you’re headed down a very rough road.
- You’re wearing your relationship blinders. Frequently, mixed signals are not actually so mixed. If you take a step away from the relationship, it might be easier to figure out what’s going on. With your blinders off, he might actually be screaming, “I’m a douche! Don’t invest in me!”
- Actions speak louder than words. Don’t obsess over contradictory texts or words when his actions say everything they need to. Is he loving and supporting you the way you want and deserve? If not, it’s time to move on.