Relationships are built on trust, respect, and communication. You need all three to have a successful relationship, and they should come naturally if you’re with the right guy. However, if one of those things collapses, the rest will follow pretty soon after. If he doesn’t respect you enough to be open, how can you trust him? And if you can’t trust him, how can you be with him?
There’s a reason you don’t trust him. If your intuition is telling you that something’s wrong, why aren’t you listening to it? He’s obviously given you a good reason not to trust him, so why are you still with him?
Trust doesn’t mean innocent until proven guilty. But that also doesn’t mean you can treat him like a criminal until he earns your trust. If you start off your relationship questioning his every move, then he won’t even feel like it’s worth it to prove that he’s in it for the long haul. Fix your own trust issues first, and then start looking for an open and honest relationship.
Trust is a two-way street. The less you trust him, the more untrustworthy you become. If you’re so untrusting that you snoop through his phone, social media, or even web history, then it’s pretty clear he can’t trust you either — at least not with his right to privacy.
Your relationship isn’t worth the stress. When you don’t trust your boyfriend, all you do is worry. The right man will be a stress reliever — after all, you need confidence in your relationship, not constant self-doubt. If the fact that you can’t trust him is causing your relationship to be more work than reward, then it’s time to reconsider why you’re even together.
You’ll never be truly happy. Because you’ll always be wondering what he’s doing and who he’s with. How can you be happy when your relationship makes you so miserable? An untrustworthy man just isn’t worth the effort. The right guy will bring you peace of mind, and when you can fully be confident in your relationship, that’s when you know it’s truly happy and healthy.
Why you shouldn’t be with him if you can’t trust him
Betrayal runs deep. If he steps out on you, could you really ever get over it? You’re lying to yourself if you think that the betrayal doesn’t tear a huge hole in your relationship. If he hurts you, you either have to find a way to work together to get over it so you can rebuild or move on.
You can’t count on him. If you can’t trust him to be there when you need him, then what’s the point? He doesn’t honor his commitments, so how important can you really be to him? You need a man who will always be there and whose love you never have to question. It’s time to start seeking what you deserve and stop putting up with the BS you don’t need.
It’s the definition of dysfunctional. When you don’t have trust in your relationship, then it’s just plain unhealthy. In order to have a healthy relationship, you need to feel secure. When you can’t trust your partner, you’re automatically insecure about your relationship. So if you can’t trust him, then the best thing you can do is let him go and find someone you can.
There are guys out there that won’t make you doubt them. You might feel like you’ve put so much time and energy into this relationship that to walk away now would be conceding to failure. After all, you’ll never get those weeks/months/years of your life back, and it could always be worse, you tell yourself. This is one of the most damaging ways you could approach relationships. There are guys out there who will never give you a reason to doubt them. If you can’t trust him, you shouldn’t be with him.
Things will never get better. As much as you’d like to think that this dynamic could change with time, that’s just not true. Trust, once it’s gone, can never be restored. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you’ll always be thinking “what if?” and not in a good way.
Signs you can’t trust him
He’s secretive with his phone. He turns the screen as far away from you as possible while texting, he always puts it face-down around you, and if he’s leaving the room for even a second, he takes it with him. What’s going on with his phone that requires such discretion? Unless he’s secretly working for the CIA, there’s no reason for him to be so shady, but this is one of the most obvious signs you can’t trust him.
He goes AWOL for days at a time and never offers an explanation. He might vaguely mention that he’s “going to be busy this week,” but that often translates into him disappearing without a word for days on end. When he comes back, he’s hesitant to give too much detail about what he’s been up to and acts like you’re weird for asking.
He’s cheated in past relationships. While not everyone believes in the whole “once a cheater, always a cheater” concept, there is a lot of truth to it. If he thought it was okay to betray his previous partners, the chances of him doing it again are pretty high. Yes, there are some guys who really do learn from being unfaithful and hurting their partners, but they’re few and far between.
You regularly catch him in lies. You might love him, but you definitely shouldn’t put your trust in him if you’re always catching him in lies. It doesn’t matter if they’re little white lies about whether or not got an A in high school French or whether he liked the dinner you made last night or more serious topics like lying about drugs or alcohol, his financial situation, or cheating. If he can’t be truthful, you can’t trust him.
You always get the feeling there’s something he’s not telling you. Whenever he tells you a story, you always feel like there’s a lot that’s left out. It’s like he gives you the surface details but stops short of revealing everything, and it’s like this all the time. What is he hiding? What is it that he’s not telling you? Questioning this on a daily basis can be enough to drive you crazy.
Your gut tells you that you can’t trust him. At the end of the day, it’s so important to listen to your gut. If there’s a feeling in the pit of your stomach that this guy isn’t reliable or honest, listen to that. You should never ignore red flags or the screaming warnings of your intuition for the sake of keeping the relationship going. You deserve so much better.
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