Being in a relationship with someone, platonic or romantic, requires some emotional give and take. You want to be there for them, to support and uplift them, and offer them a shoulder to cry on when they need it. However, sometimes things get a little lopsided and the other person ends up taking a whole lot more than they offer up. Here’s how you know you’re dealing with an emotional vampire who will completely suck you dry and leave you mentally drained if you let them.
1. You feel exhausted after spending any amount of time with them.
Ever hang out with someone and afterward, you feel like you need a nap? That’s a classic sign. It’s not just normal tiredness; it’s like they’ve sucked all the energy out of you. You might start out feeling good, but by the time you’re done hanging out, you’re totally drained. This exhaustion isn’t just physical. You might feel emotionally depleted too. It’s like every interaction takes a piece of your energy pie, and by the end, there’s barely anything left for you.
2. You feel like you can never do enough for them.
With an emotional vampire, it often feels like no matter how much you give, it’s never enough. They might always ask for more help, more time, or more understanding. It’s like being on a never-ending treadmill of trying to meet their needs. And the kicker? You rarely feel appreciated for all your efforts. It’s like pouring water into a bottomless bucket. No matter how much you do, they still need more, and they’re not shy about asking for it.
3. You know you deserve better but don’t know how to find it (we can help with that).
Whenever you’re around your emotional vampire, you can’t help thinking that there must be someone out there who will make you happier and treat you better, you’re just not sure how to find them. That’s where our sister site, Sweetn, comes in. They use research and science to help your love life do a 180 using nothing but the power of your mind. Check them out here.
4. Your mood plummets whenever they’re around.
Notice your mood nosediving when a certain someone is around? That’s a big red flag. You might start out in a great mood, but as soon as they enter the picture, you feel a shift. It’s like they bring a cloud of negativity with them. These mood changes can be subtle or really obvious. You might feel more irritable, anxious, or just down in the dumps when they’re around. It’s like they have a talent for spreading their gloom.
5. You feel guilty for no reason.
Emotional vampires are masters at guilt-tripping. You might find yourself feeling guilty for things that aren’t your fault or for not being able to meet their endless needs. They have a way of making you feel responsible for their happiness and well-being. This guilt can weigh heavy on you. It’s like carrying an invisible burden that you can’t put down. And the worst part? You might not even realize they’re the ones placing it on your shoulders.
6. You constantly have to reassure them.
If you find yourself in endless cycles of reassuring someone, they might be an emotional vampire. They seem to need constant validation and reassurance, more than what’s usual in a friendship or relationship. It’s like no amount of reassurance is ever enough. This can be exhausting. You’re always trying to prop them up, boost their ego, or soothe their endless worries. It feels like you’re a personal cheerleader, but the game never ends.
7. They dominate every single conversation.
Emotional vampires tend to make every conversation about them. You might start talking about your day, but somehow, the conversation always swings back to their issues, their life, their drama. It’s like being in a play where they’re the star, and you’re just a supporting character. This habit can leave you feeling like you’re just an audience to their life story. Your experiences and feelings get sidelined, making interactions feel one-sided and unsatisfying. It’s tough to feel heard or valued when someone else is always hogging the spotlight.
8. They react badly to people having boundaries.
Try setting some boundaries with them, and watch how they react. If they respond negatively to your attempts to take care of yourself, that’s a classic emotional vampire move. They might get offended, throw a fit, or guilt-trip you for having needs and limits of your own. Healthy relationships respect boundaries. But emotional vampires see them as personal attacks or obstacles to their needs. It’s like they believe the rules of give-and-take don’t apply to them, and they can become manipulative or angry when faced with limits.
9. They thrive on drama.
Does it seem like there’s always some crisis or drama going on in their life? Emotional vampires often thrive on chaos. They might exaggerate problems, create conflicts, or just revel in chaotic situations. It’s like they need constant turmoil to feel alive. Being around this constant drama can be draining and disorienting. You might find yourself being pulled into their whirlwind of issues, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. It’s a never-ending soap opera with them in the lead role.
10. They’re always the victim, never the perpetrator.
Notice if they always see themselves as the victim, regardless of the situation. It’s like the world is always against them, and they’re perpetually wronged. They might not take responsibility for their actions, instead blaming others and circumstances for their problems. This victim mentality can be exhausting to deal with. It prevents them from taking constructive steps to improve their situation, and it places an emotional burden on you to constantly be the sympathizer or rescuer.
11. They manipulate your feelings whenever they get the chance.
Emotional vampires often have a knack for manipulating others’ feelings to serve their own needs. They might use guilt, flattery, or emotional appeals to get what they want. It’s like they have a radar for your weak spots and know exactly how to use them. Being manipulated in this way can leave you feeling confused, guilty, or even questioning your own judgment. It’s a form of emotional control that can be subtle but very effective, keeping you entangled in their web.
12. Your other relationships suffer because of your relationship with them.
Dealing with an emotional vampire can take up so much of your energy and attention that your other relationships start to suffer. You might find yourself less available for other friends and family because you’re so caught up in dealing with the emotional vampire’s needs. This strain on your other relationships is a serious side effect. It can isolate you from your support network, making you even more dependent on the emotional vampire. It’s a cycle that can be hard to break, but recognizing it is the first step.
13. They dismiss your feelings and experiences.
When you’re dealing with an emotional vampire, you might notice that your life gets brushed aside. If you try to share something about yourself, they might quickly dismiss it or turn the conversation back to themselves. It’s as if your experiences just aren’t as important or valid as theirs. This behavior can leave you feeling like you’re not being seen or heard. It’s frustrating and hurtful when someone consistently minimizes what you feel or go through. It creates a dynamic where your role is to listen and support, but never to be listened to or supported.
14. They use your good qualities against you.
An emotional vampire might take advantage of your kindness, empathy, or willingness to help. They know you’re a good listener or that you hate seeing people in distress, and they use these qualities to their advantage. It’s like they know you’re not one to easily turn away from someone in need, and they exploit that. This can put you in a tough spot. You want to be a caring, supportive person, but it becomes overwhelming when someone takes and takes without giving back. It can lead to feelings of resentment and exhaustion, as you find your good nature being stretched too thin.
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