You were enjoying flirting with the new person you met, but after weeks of chatting, you’re feeling like they’re breadcrumbing you. This infuriating dating trend gets its name from how the person’s efforts are like breadcrumbs leading you to a dating dead-end. They seem so interested in you, but they’re all talk and no action. Ugh. So, what do you do? Here are 10 things to do if you think someone is breadcrumbing you.
1. First, Identify Breadcrumbing Signs.
You can tell if the person is breadcrumbing you by checking their behavior. Common breadcrumbing signs include if they text and flirt with you but never ask you out on a date or they only text you in the early hours when they’re lonely or bored. The bottom line: they give you just enough attention to make you think they’re interested, but there’s nothing to show for it.
2. Call Them Out On It.
If you’re seeing signs of breadcrumbing, you don’t have to go along with it and waste your time. You can call it out, such as by responding to a flirtatious text with, “Are we just gonna do this all night?” or “I feel like you only flirt with me but nothing comes of it.” Be honest about how the situation is making you feel. They should engage with you if they care about you.
3. Block ‘Em And Move On.
If your deadline’s come and gone, and you’ve tried to make something happen with this person but they’re not meeting you halfway, it’s time to block the person, delete their number, and move on. It sounds hectic, but you deserve someone who doesn’t play with your heart and who gives you what you give them. Enough is enough with the bread crumbs!
4. Talk About Relationship Goals.
What does this person want? Are they just leading you on? It’s time to figure it out, once and for all. Chat to the person about what they’re looking for in dating and relationships, and share what you’re looking for. Be clear so there’s no confusion. You’ll quickly see if you’re in sync or not, which will save you time and prevent mixed messages.
5. Make Concrete Plans.
Another way you can deal with breadcrumbing head-on is by setting plans for a date. Take the initiative and suggest going out for drinks on Friday night. Be clear about the plans, such as by setting the time and place, to see what happens. The person might take the bait and be keen to hang out, which is awesome. Or, they could ignore your text or make an excuse, which says a lot – they’re not into you.
6. Leave Them On “Read.”
This person goes in and out of your life, and it makes you feel like a backup option, like when they text you late at night but never during the day. It’s so convenient. Instead of giving them all your attention, reciprocate their behavior. When they text you, leave them on “read” for a few days so you don’t always fall into the trap of giving them attention when they want it.
7. Set Healthy Boundaries.
When they text you at three in the morning, don’t let it disrupt your sleep (put your phone on airplane mode, okay?). If they flirt and it always turns sexual, ignore them until you get a chance to have a deeper chat. Focus on your needs and set boundaries so you don’t let them have you when they want you. Your needs matter!
8. Don’t Stop Your Life For Them.
The worst thing you can do is make this person a priority in your life. They’re not treating you like you’re number one on their list, so why should you make them a VIP? So, when they want to hang out at the last minute, don’t cancel your plans. Live your fabulous life. If they want you, they’ve got to fit into your life and work for you.
9. Chat To Other People.
Linked to the previous point, you shouldn’t be exclusive with someone who’s keeping you on ice. You’re not bound to this person and you’re clearly not dating, so go out there and meet new people. This can help you to stop making them a priority, while perhaps showing you what real interest in someone looks like. If you meet someone else who offers you clarity, go for it.
10. Give Yourself A Deadline.
Maybe you’ve been stringing yourself along with this person, wondering when they’re going to ask you out. Or, you’ve tried to make plans with them but they’re always too freaking busy. How long are you going to hang around for them? Give yourself a deadline for how long you’ll wait and set this in stone. If they don’t get serious by then, like by sticking to your plans, it’s time to ditch them.
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