If you’d rather stay home with your cat than socialize with people IRL and the thought of initiating conversations with strangers makes you break out in a sweat, you’re not alone. It’s normal to feel socially awkward and nervous when you have to deal with others, but there are ways to help you step out of your shell and increase your social circle. Here are 11 tips to help you become less awkward and more like the life of the party.
1. Get Out Of Your Head.
If you feel awkward, chances are you’re trapped inside your head. You might overthink your interactions to death and worry that you’re going to make a fool of yourself. Stop thinking so much! You’re working yourself up for no good reason. Distract yourself by focusing on your surroundings and the people in them.
2. Prepare Some Topics To Talk About.
Dealing with awkward silences can be difficult, so you don’t want to be stuck in them. You can prevent them by preparing some conversational topics ahead of time. Read up on the latest headlines of the day that could help you, but don’t go overboard as this can make it seem like you’re streaming the news, which can be so off-putting to others.
3. Give A Genuine Compliment.
An easy way to initiate conversation with someone is to compliment them. Maybe they’re wearing stunning sandals or their hair is gloriously shiny. Whatever it is, compliments are a great ice-breaker. But, here’s the catch: make them genuine and meaningful. Don’t just say, “I like your hair” as this will lead you to a dead-end. Rather say something like, “Your hair is so shiny! What products do you use?” The conversation will start flowing! (And if you suck at this, our sister site, Sweetn, can help. They have some great, research-backed tips and tricks to turn your love life around in just a few weeks. Check it out here.)
4. Pay Attention To The Other Person.
Another good way to get out of your head is to put your focus on the other person. This can make you feel less stressed about being self-conscious, while also distracting you with good conversation. Keep the other person engaged by asking them questions to get to know them. It’s also good to show that you’re tuned in, such as by smiling and avoiding looking at your phone mid-conversation.
5. Fake Some Positive Body Language.
You can’t ace socializing if you look like you’d win Least Confident Person In The Room award. Try to seem more confident by standing or sitting upright instead of slouching or looking at the floor. Make eye contact and smile when approaching people or when you’re approached, and don’t fidget as it tells everyone you’re feeling nervous – which can make you feel even more stressed!
6. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously.
If you suffer with social anxiety and awkwardness, you might be super-serious when out and about with other people. This can make you feel even more self-conscious and awkward, so try to tread lightly! Tell yourself you’re going to feel chilled and laugh at yourself! This is especially important if you do mess up, like if you bump into someone on the dance floor. Just laugh and apologize. You’re good.
7. Call Back To A Previous Chat.
If you’re socializing with people you’ve already met and chatted to a bit, it can help you to avoid awkwardness by recalling something about your previous conversation. Maybe you shared a laugh over a funny joke (laughter creates an instant connection) or you bonded over having a similar upbringing. You could mention that in this new chat as a way to become friends.
8. Join Forces With Someone More Confident.
If you’re struggling in a social situation but you can see your other, more confident, acquaintance or friend has arrived, go talk to them and hang with them. They’ll make it easier for you to sweep around the room and meet new people ’cause they’ll be sure to take charge, so you can relax a bit. Phew!
9. Ask Open-Ended Questions.
When getting to know people, don’t fall into the trap of asking them “yes” or “no” questions. They’ll lead to awkward silences and put more pressure on you to keep the conversation going. Instead, ask open-ended question so the person can go off on a tangent and relieve your anxiety. Hint: open-ended questions start with Why? How? and What?
10. Don’t Exhaust Conversations.
To avoid awkwardness in social settings, read social cues that the person’s no longer engaged in the chat. Maybe they’re looking around a lot or they seem a bit bored. Don’t hang around and keep the conversation going because it’s just going to become more uncomfortable. At the first whiff of the chat coming to a natural end, politely excuse yourself.
11. Get Some Practice Daily.
If you want to become more friendly in social settings, you need to practice! When you go to the store or hair salon, strike up a conversation with a stranger and face your fears of rejection head-on. It might be difficult at first and you might feel awkward, but you’ll improve your confidence with some practice.
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