If there’s one things that’s for sure about overthinkers, it’s that they have no chill. Something as simple as a friend taking five minutes too long to text back becomes an existential crisis that lives rent-free in their brains for eternity. It’s no way to live! And yet, when people who overthink are single, their powers of fixation go into overdrive. Here are some of the things they worry about (needlessly, I might add).
1. Being alone forever
Having a dating dry spell or even deciding to take a break from looking for love for your own mental health are NBD — in fact, both are pretty normal and extremely healthy. However, people who tend to overthink soon begin to feel terrified that this isn’t just some temporary lull but a permanent status that they’re powerless to change. In their minds, they could be doomed to spend forever all on their own, loveless and depressed. (Get a grip, guys and gals!)
2. Whether there’s something wrong with them
When you’re single and you really don’t want to be, it’s normal to assess some of your behavior in previous relationships to assess whether there might be something you could have done differently or should do differently in the future. So far, so good. However, overthinkers internalize their single status and instead of using it as a lesson to improve, they become defeatist, let negative self-talk take over, and worry that there’s something fundamentally wrong with them that makes them unworthy of love.
3. Want a partner? Attract love with the power of your mind.
Sweetn is a new research-based startup that shows you how to call love into your life with the power of your mind. Take our quiz, and try our tools—they can transform your energy and your love life in a few weeks. Just click here.
4. Falling behind your peers
So, it feels like your friends are all getting married, having kids, buying houses, etc. Your point? First, if you’re actually being honest rather than giving into your hyperbolic tendencies, that’s probably not the case and you likely have friends in the exact same position as you. Second, so what if other people are doing those things? You’re not because that’s not where your life is at right now. That doesn’t mean it’ll never happen. Still, people who overthink tend to worry that being single means they’re going to be permanently behind in life (as if it’s some kind of race).
5. Looking like a loser
We’re pretty deep into the 21st century now, folks. This is not 1850 where not being married by the time you’re 22 means you’re some undesirable ne’er-do-well who will have to look after your octogenarian aunt and hope you get her inheritance when she dies. People who overthink being single believe that everyone is looking at them like they’re some kind of leper simply because they’re not in a romantic relationship, which is not only untrue but also very Victorian. The world has moved on!
6. Running out of time to hit major milestones
As with the above item about falling behind your peers, there’s literally no one timeline to do things. You don’t have to have kids by 25, be married by 30, buy your own house by 35, or whatever else. There’s actually not a time limit on any of these things — you have every single day you’re lucky enough to be alive on this planet to make them happen (well, within reason). Overthinking it or worrying it won’t happen is a fruitless endeavor.
7. Not having a plus-one for upcoming events
In a way, this is a legitimate worry. Having a plus-one for work parties comes in handy, especially if your colleagues tend to get a bit too drunk and handsy — a plus-one acts as a buffer and an excuse to leave early. That being said, what overthinkers don’t realize when stressing this is that they’re awesome enough to rock up on their own. They don’t need anyone to soften the social blow, nor do they need permission to dip early if that’s what they want to do. It’s all good!
8. How they’re going to cope without intimacy
Again, we’re well into the 21st century here. If you’re feeling, erm, shall we say frustrated, there are plenty of purveyors of fine goods that can help you scratch that itch. Yes, nothing beats intimacy with a partner that you care about and who cares about you, but in lieu of that, there are plenty of tools out there that can make it pretty pleasurable all on your own. You might even just rely on your own two hands every once in a while. You’ll be fine.
9. Whether they should have stayed in their last relationship
No, they shouldn’t have, but people who overthink will worry that they should have when they’re single and hating it. Breakups tend to happen for a reason, and when someone is no longer in your life, it’s probably for the best that they’re not. Don’t mistake loneliness or the desire for intimacy trick you into thinking otherwise. It’s just not true!
10. Whether they even want a relationship
This is a valid question to ask yourself, obviously, but stressing about it? In this economy? Nope. If you’re feeling actually pretty good being on your own right now, don’t sweat it — enjoy it. You should never get into a relationship because you feel pressured to do so. If you find you’re looking forward to dating, get out there and do it. If not, that’s cool too. You don’t need to deep it that much.
