If You’re Worried About These Things, Stop—They Really Don’t Matter

It’s normal to stress about stuff sometimes, but many of us are guilty of letting our imaginations go wild with picturing worst-case scenarios and stressing about stuff that really doesn’t matter. If you’re fixating on any of these things, stop, take a deep breath, and let go.

1. Whether or not that guy (or girl!) will text you back So what if they don’t? Sure, you like them, but if they go AWOL on you or don’t reciprocate your feelings, life will still go on and at least you’ll know sooner rather than later that they’re not worth your time/clearly not very smart since they didn’t grab up an amazing woman like yourself ASAP.
2. Gaining a few pounds/not losing enough We all want to feel confident in our own skin, but why does that confidence have to be dependent on the number on the scale? Fitness has nothing to do with weight, so unless you’re morbidly obese and/or your health is in immediate danger due to your size, gaining a few pounds in water weight before your period (or pizza weight because hello, pizza is delicious) really doesn’t make a difference.
3. Not knowing if you did anything dumb when you were drunk last weekend Maybe you did, but you were with your girls and they had your back. They know you’re solid so they’re not going to remind you of how you sang off-tune karaoke or you made out with a rando for a free gin and tonic. It’s over, forget about it.
4. Total strangers judging you without knowing you Sometimes when you’re just out in the world minding your business you start to wonder if you have food all down your face or something because it seems like everyone is staring at you. They’re not, but it can be hard to remind yourself that 99% of the time, strangers don’t give a damn about you or your life. They’re going about their own days—they just happen to be looking in your direction while lost in their train of thought.
5. People who know you judging you If you honestly have to worry about the people you call your friends judging you or your life, you need a new group. Good friends will love you as you are and while they’ll always support you becoming your best self, they’re happy with you right now.
6. Running out of time to find love You might think that because you’re getting closer to 30 (or 40!) and you’re still single, it’s never going to happen for you and you’re going to die alone. That’s ridiculous. There’s never a “right” time to find love and the sooner you let go of that idea, the more success you’ll probably find in that arena. Plus, who cares if you never do end up in a long-term relationship? You’re already whole, so it’s not like you’re waiting for someone to complete you. Live your best life now, partner or no partner.
7. Running out of time to get your dream career Again, this doesn’t often follow an exact time scale. Whatever you want to be or achieve, you can, but it takes hard work, perseverance, and patience. Tina Fey didn’t find success until she was 37. Stan Lee was 39 when he created his first comic, The Fantastic Four. Julia Child didn’t launch her extremely successful cooking career until she was 50. I think you see my point.
8. Running out of time to have kids Yes, it gets harder to conceive as you get older, but there is such a thing as freezing your eggs if this is a legitimate concern for you. If that’s not a viable option (or a desirable one), you should remember that you don’t have to give birth to be a parent. There are millions of kids out there in need of good homes, so there’s always adoption too.
9. Losing the people you love Who hasn’t worried about the day their parents die or had an illogical fear that when our partner isn’t texting back, it must be because they got in a car crash and died? The truth is that we’re all going to die someday, but none of us know exactly when. Spending all of our time worrying about it now instead of enjoying the time we have with our loved ones is a huge waste. Let it go and live life to the fullest with those people NOW.
10. Being dumped without warning Of course, there’s always a chance that the person you’re dating could blindside you and decide they no longer want to be in a relationship with you out of nowhere and that would suck. However, it’s pretty unlikely. Most breakups show serious warning signs leading up to the fateful split, so if everything seems kosher in your relationship, don’t ruin it by creating problems that aren’t really there.
11. Being cheated on Do people cheat on their partners? Yes. Is yours going to cheat on you? You’d like to think not. There are no guarantees that your S.O. is going to remain faithful but that’s where trust comes in. If you trust your partner to remain loyal and not to step out on you, then you have to let go and let God, so to speak. If it happens, you can respond accordingly then (hopefully by dumping them). For now, you’re worrying for nothing.
12. Being anxious Sometimes worrying can become a vicious cycle where we end up feeling more anxious about the fact that we’re feeling anxious to begin with. While clinical anxiety may require treatment via medication or therapy (or both) as it’s impossible to turn off just by telling yourself you’re being illogical, most of us can ground ourselves by taking a few deep breaths, meditating, etc. If you find that you can’t, talk to someone who might be able to help. You’ll be glad you did.