I’ll Never Cry Over A Guy Who Hurts Me—Here’s Why

I’ve wasted so many tears on the wrong men that I refuse to do it anymore. Here’s why I don’t cry anymore when a guy breaks my heart.

  1. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction. I refuse to cry in front of a guy when he’s broken my heart. I’ve been there before and always regretted it, especially when the guy felt sorry for me. Ugh. I’d rather not cry over a guy’s bad decision to leave me and like hell will I boost his ego by showing him how hurt I am.
  2. There are worse things. If I want to have a good crying session, I’ll Google the news or something. There are so many things out there that are worth crying over and much worse things in life than losing some jerk of a guy who didn’t appreciate me.
  3. He should be crying. I’m sorry, but why should I cry for someone who didn’t give me any love? He’s the one who should be getting emotional because he had all my support, love, and care and he threw it away. One day, he’s going to wake up and realize he really misses me but it’ll be too late.
  4. I’d rather get angry. My kneejerk reaction when faced with a jerk is to get angry, not to cry. I know that pain is on the other side of anger, but I find anger to be so much more of a motivation for me to get up, strap my boots on, and keep moving. I’d rather do that than cry in the corner.
  5. Crying is a slippery slope. I’m not saying I don’t feel hurt after a bad breakup but I don’t want to get into the habit of crying. It’s too damn easy for those tears to make me slip up so that soon I’m feeling such despair or getting depressed. Hell no. I have too much life in me for that.
  6. I’d rather cry for the guy who deserves it. If a guy loved me wholeheartedly and we split up out of no fault of our own then I’d bawl my eyes out like a pre-teen at a Justin Bieber concert. But I won’t cry for someone who just wanted to hurt me. Hell no. I’d rather hurt him back by showing him that I DGAF.
  7. Why cry when he’s out having a good time? I remember one particularly embarrassing thing that happened to me after a breakup. I’d been crying over a guy and then he called me a few weeks after our breakup, completely oblivious to my sadness. While I’m sure my voice sounded thick with tears, he was laughing and keen to catch up. WTF? It showed me that I didn’t want to cry for someone who wasn’t even sparing one tear for me. No way!
  8. I’m not the problem. I get the urge to cry when I’ve messed up, like if I cheated on a guy and he found out and dumped me for being such as loser. But if I’m not to blame for the relationship ending, why the hell should I feel bad? He’s the one who messed everything up, so the tears are meant to be on his pillow, not mine.
  9. I don’t like playing the “what if?” game. It’s easy to think “what if?” questions after a breakup and I’ve done that many times. Questions like “What if things had been different?” or “What if we’d stayed together and been happy?” are common ones. But you know what? What if they’re total BS? They are! I don’t want to cry over some hypothetical scenario—I need to look at the facts and the facts are that my BF isn’t into me and I need to move on.
  10. Tears set me back. Crying after a breakup has messed with my head in the past. One minute I’m crying and feeling really low and the next I’m scrambling for something to take the pain away. Since I’m anti-booze and drugs, this would either be chocolate or texting the guy. Eek! Texting a guy who’s dumped me is the worst thing to do when a guy’s made it clear he doesn’t want to be with me. Crying is the gateway drug to making me seem desperate AF, so I don’t do it.
  11. He doesn’t care. The guy I’m crying over probably doesn’t care that I’m crying over him. If he did, he wouldn’t have broken up with me to begin with. It’s so true when they say the right guy won’t make you cry.
  12. I look weird after crying. I’m not a pretty crier. My face puffs up, my cheeks become red, and my eyes look tragic. Leaving the house when I’m in that state is just bad for my mojo. It makes people wonder why I’m such a party pooper. Honestly, after a breakup, the best thing is to go out and have a blast, not cry in the bathroom. That’s lame.
  13. The only tears I’m crying are tears of joy. I can spend my days crying out of sadness for losing the guy (um, he actually walked away, but anyway) or I can do something so much better. I can cry tears of joy and gratitude for not being in that toxic relationship anymore and having a lucky escape, a second chance at life and love. I’m not going to let tears cloud my view of the bright future.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.