I’ll Probably Never Be With A Guy Who Gives Me Butterflies & I’m Okay With That

You know which feeling I mean—the weird sensation of fluttery happiness and nervousness at the same time when you meet someone you really like. In theory, it sounds like an ideal start to a relationship, but how many times has it really worked out well for you? Here’s why butterflies are just so overrated.

  1. Contrary to what most believe, butterflies aren’t a sign of compatibility. Sure, that feeling of nervous elation around a guy is a sign of sexual attraction and chemistry, but sadly, it has nothing to do with actual compatibility. Any hot guy can give us butterflies, but once we get to know each other, chances are there’s nothing else in common to move the relationship forward. In fact, it often works in the reverse—we get crazy butterflies with guys we have nothing in common with. Ugh.
  2. We get butterflies for all the wrong reasons. Generally speakingbutterflies in our stomach are a sign of nervousness and fear. We get them before exams and job interviews when we’re scared of failure and we question our abilities. It just shows that we see a guy as a challenge but we don’t connect on a deeper level. Remember, it takes time to get to know someone, but feeling at ease around him is extremely important.
  3. Even science says that it isn’t good for us. According to scientists, butterflies are our physical fight-or-flight response when there’s a threat to our survival. Yeah, you heard right. Our bodies detect danger when there’s a hot guy approaching. It really sums it up perfectly, so I’m not adding anything else to this one.
  4. True love shouldn’t feel like an anxiety attack. I’m one of those people who believe that true love should feel peaceful and natural. It may sound mushy, but it’s like finding your other half—you just instantly know it’s right. When I get overly anxious or head over heels for someone, it never ends well. Moreover, why would a guy cause me stress in the first place? I have enough reasons to stress in my life as it is and I don’t need more.
  5. It usually signals trouble. Look around you—people who got together after falling madly in love end up fighting and hating each other. When the butterflies go away it’s like they’ve just woken up from a 100-year slumber. They keep wondering who the person next to them really is and what brought them together in the first place. Of course, not all couples feel like that, to be fair—a crush can grow to become true love, but to be perfectly honest, I usually see the opposite happening.
  6. Butterflies don’t belong in a long-term relationship anyway. Even if you start off head over heels, chances are the feeling will fade away completely once the relationship becomes serious. People who claim you still have butterflies after 10 years of marriage need to stop lying. Single people deserve to know the truth. Moreover, I’m truly sad when I see happy couples break up when one gets paranoid because the other person isn’t feeling butterflies. Come on, people. If you have a happy relationship, hold onto it.
  7. Butterflies never bode well, for me at least. I have experienced these drunk-in-love feelings many times in the past. After a few weeks or months, all that’s left is the emotional hangover. It never grew into something worthwhile or steady—it was just pure infatuation.
  8. I’m done being a love junkie. I spent years chasing thrill and excitement and lying to myself that I was looking for true love. When I finally did some soul-searching, I realized I wasn’t being honest with myself. Being a love junkie is dangerous. It tricks us into believing that there’s a perfect person and a perfect relationship. But in real life, no such thing exists. True love takes sacrifices and relationships take work—we need to keep that in our heads.
  9. I know how to appreciate the feeling for what it really is. Will I feel butterflies in the future? Hell yeah! Will it be something meaningful?Absolutely not, and I’m not planning to let the feeling shadow any serious relationship that I have in the future. I have enough experience by now to keep things in perspective and know that butterflies aren’t signs of true love.
  10. Butterflies are great, but true love is even better. I’m truly thankful for all the butterflies life has given me, but true love is just so much better. I really need to love someone, not just be in loveI’ll have multiple crushes in my life but only my soulmate deserves my unconditional love. Moreover, knowing that I’m capable of loving someone for who he really is and not for a glamorized version of himself is just so much superior.
Chrisa is a freelance travel and lifestyle journalist who is obsessed with urban life, big cities, and untold stories.