I’m Good In Bed And I Know It

It’s not often you meet women who are extremely sexually confident, which is a shame, but I’m here to buck the trend. I know I’m good in bed. In fact, I’ve had several guys tell me so over the years. I’m not supermodel hot, I don’t act like a porn star, and I’m not particularly doing anything special. Here’s why I’m so memorable anyway.

  1. I’ve slept with a lot of guys. While many people wouldn’t see this as something to brag about — and to be fair, I’m not bragging, I’m just telling the truth — it’s part of why I know I’m good in bed. That’s because I’ve learned a lot via my experiences with all different kinds of guys. Figuring out what kinds of things men like in bed and what they’re too afraid to ask for has been invaluable in all my sexual escapades since.
  2. I’m not a pillow queen. I don’t just lay back and let a guy pump away into me while I’m limp like a dead fish. I actually get involved, move around a lot, negotiate changing positions, encourage him, talk to him, and just make it a really active experience. I don’t hop into bed with a guy to just play dead until he finishes. I’m an active participant, which is how it should be.
  3. I’m adventurous and always up for new things. I should say right away that you should never, ever do anything you’re uncomfortable with or that you don’t want to do in bed to please a guy. Ever. However, I’m naturally inquisitive and experimental and that means I’m into all kinds of stuff in bed. I’m not naturally kinky myself, but I’m pretty much up for trying anything a guy’s into as long as it doesn’t include pee or poop. Part of what makes me good in bed is that I always let a guy know he can share his fantasies with me without worrying that he’s going to be judged. Even if I’m not into something, I’m never going to shame you for it.
  4. I’m great at dirty talk. There’s nothing worse than having sex when it’s silent as a graveyard in the room. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and just terrible. I like to let the guy I’m sleeping with know that what he’s doing feels good when we’re in bed, and I’m not afraid to use some pretty filthy words to communicate the message. Most guys get even more turned on when they hear you whispering things that I could never write here. And to be honest, it makes the experience better for me too.
  5. I love taking charge and being on top. I don’t believe in waiting for a guy to initiate sex or having him take control every time in the bedroom. If that’s what he wants to do, I’m into it sometimes, but I’m just as happy to take charge and be dominant between the sheets. There’s nothing hotter to me than making a guy lay back, telling him to trust me, and calling all the shots about what we do. Most men would never ask for this but when I ask for their consent (which is a must every single time), I’ve never had any of them say no.
  6. I give good feedback. Like I say, if something a guy is doing in bed feels good, I want him to know about it. If he’s being a little too rough or he’s chafing me in some way or needs to change his pressure, I can tell him that too. I’ve managed to find a way to communicate even the most sensitive things without making the guy feel bad or insecure, which is apparently a gift (their words, not mine).
  7. I don’t mind teaching guys how to please me. If a guy has less experience or feels like he’s not very good in bed, I have no problem giving him lessons on what to do and how to do it. It’s probably the most enjoyable game of show and tell either of us will ever play, and it makes the experience so much more fun and exciting. Not only that, but I get way more out of it too, which is always nice.
  8. I come back for seconds and thirds. Finally, one of the things that apparently makes me good in bed is that I know I’m not done after one round. After a bit of a rest, I’m happy to keep going all night long. Men are typically the ones with higher libidos, but I give a lot of them a run for their money, that’s for sure.

In essence, being good in bed isn’t about trying to be someone you’re not or doing things you’re not into because you think that’s what your partner wants. It’s all about healthy communication, experimentation, and trust. The more you work together to give each other pleasure, the more amazing the experience will be.

Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill