I’m In An Awesome Relationship But I’ll Never Stop Being Strong and Independent

I’m In An Awesome Relationship But I’ll Never Stop Being Strong and Independent ©iStock/domoyega

I’m in a relationship with an amazing guy, but my life wasn’t always like this. I was a charter member of the Forever Alone club before love knocked on my door, and I spent those years growing into the strongest version of myself. Even though I’m not single anymore, I insist on maintaining my strength for several reasons:

  1. He fell in love with this version of me. I wasn’t sure if anyone would ever love me for who I am; the advice I was constantly receiving before was that I should be willing to change in order to become someone who’s lovable. I wasn’t willing to compromise my values, and I was fortunate enough to find someone who fell in love with me exactly as I am. It’s an amazing feeling being loved for who I am; so why would I ever want to be anyone else?
  2. I love myself too. When I grew into the person I am now, I found myself and fell in love with the person I am. When I look in the mirror, I see a vision of strength and resilience. Anyone who would attempt to take that away from me wouldn’t be relationship material in the first place.
  3. Good relationships don’t have a power dynamic. The only reason anyone would want to reduce my strength is to make it easier to control me, and controlling behavior is a huge red flag in any relationship. Good partnerships aren’t about having the upper hand, they’re about holding your partner’s hand every day, no matter what life throws at you.
  4. I have goals to accomplish besides love. I’m so glad I finally found love, but my search for fulfillment in life is far from over. In fact, it’s only begun. I still have a plethora of career and life goals to accomplish, and I’ll need every ounce of my strength to make all of my dreams come true. I have no choice but to be strong because failure isn’t an option in my world.
  5. He benefits from having a strong partner. When my boyfriend is faced with a major life decision, I’m a solid source of advice because of my own strength and life experience. It’s a good thing he’s not threatened by my boss lady mentality, because the truth is that my strength makes me an asset to him, both now and in our future.
  6. Being a boss is addictive, and I’m hooked. Even if I wanted to stop, I couldn’t. I’ve been bossing life for years, and I could never go back. I chose this life, but it also chose me, and I’m thankful for my skills every single day. The fact that I can live my life without depending on anyone else is amazing; it’s the best thing I could ask for in life.
  7. I want to be a good example for the next generation. Whether or not I actually end up having kids, I still want to be a good example for the next generation by showing them what an empowered female can do. By living my life in such a manner, I’m demonstrating to the next generation of women that they can do anything they set their minds to, and I’m also showing the next generation of men that they should respect us.
  8. The future is brighter in every way because of my confidence. The best thing about being a strong woman is that I wake up every day confident that I can deal with any situation that arises. I won’t allow anything or anyone to change me because this strength is my lifeblood; it’s absolutely essential for my survival.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.