“I’m Not Afraid Of Being Alone Forever” & Other Lies I Tell Myself To Get Through The Day

As a forever single girl, I’ve learned that attitude is pretty much everything. If I want to survive, I have to stay as positive and upbeat as possible and not throw myself a daily pity party. But it can be hard to keep up the act. Here are 10 lies I tell myself to get through my single girl days:

  1. I’m not afraid of being alone forever. If I admitted that the opposite is actually true, it would be hard to get out of bed in the morning. How many dates do I have to go on that are crazy disappointing? How long is it really supposed to take to meet someone that I actually like? I tell myself I love my life exactly how it is and that nothing needs to change… but really, it would be awesome if something did.
  2. I can handle anything. I can get ghosted and feel nothing. I can get canceled on and not care. I can go through my days and deal with whatever weird situations come up. Yeah, those are all total lies. I may be strong and independent, but these things sting as much as they should.
  3. I want to date. If I told myself the truth — that sometimes staying solo for the rest of time is a much more attractive option than meeting new people — it would be pretty frustrating. I know the only way is to move forward and keep trying.
  4. I can compromise. The best part about being single? It’s obviously the fact that there’s absolutely zero compromising. I can watch what I want, I can plan my days as I choose and there’s no one around to tell me anything different. I know that when I finally find a relationship, I’ll have to compromise and give some things up. But it’s a lie that I can actually do this. I’m too attached to my routine and hobbies.
  5. I hate my friends’ boyfriends. It’s usually easier to lie to myself that I’m not into the people that my friends choose to date. But really, they’re good guys and there’s no reason to feel that way… except that it makes my single status seem so much better.
  6. I should settle. Another big lie I tell myself on a regular basis? That one day, I’ll be ready to settle — and that this is even a good idea in the first place. Sometimes it seems like the only way to really find love (or at least some version of it) is to admit that something is better than nothing. I don’t want to get to this point, and deep down I know I’ll never settle.
  7. I can always go back to my ex. There’s always that ex-boyfriend who haunts everything, and I’ve got one too. I often comfort myself with the total lie that I can always Facebook message him and everything will be back to the way that it once was. Of course, I was years younger and a totally different person and he probably was too, so this would never actually work out.
  8. I will say yes to the next second date. The next time a guy asks me out another time, I’m totally saying yes. Of course, this is probably the biggest lie of them all because it’s super rare that I agree to a second date. I have to feel something and so far, I never do. But this lie is totally necessary when setting up plans or I’d never even leave my apartment.
  9. I will find dates every day. Every once in a while I get a burst of optimism (or maybe it’s insanity) and decide to try online dating every day of the week. I send messages, talk to several guys at once and swear I’m going to set up a bunch of first dates so my odds are stronger. By the second day of this, I remember how exhausting this is and take a step back. But the lie helps me get started.
  10. I won’t wonder what if. I tell myself not to wonder what life would be like if I had stayed with my ex, if I had somehow magically forced my last few almost relationships into real ones, if I had said yes to every guy who wanted to see me again. Of course, that’s a lie because I always wonder. It’s hard not to. When every choice I make could be the difference between the forever solo life and finding happiness and love, it’s pretty much impossible to turn my brain off. But somehow, it’s all okay.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.