In everyday life, I consider myself a risk-taker for the most part but the idea of falling for the wrong guy scares the hell out of me—hence the reason I’ve been single for years. It’s probably all more of a mind game I’m playing with myself, but it’s a real fear that creeps up into the smallest nooks of my conscience at the most inopportune moments.
I’ve Been Manipulated Too Much In The Past. I was in a relationship that seemed great at first. I thought everything was going great, but as soon as I let myself become attached, he broke it off unexpectedly. Then, he weaseled his way back in, swearing he’d made a mistake and begging for another chance. It took me years to realize I was being manipulated and the experience still haunts me. It still messes with my mind and I fear that anything that seems too good to be true in the beginning will have the same screwed up ending.
Settling Sucks and I’m afraid I’ll do it without realizing. I’ve settled in love before and it was an awful feeling. If I’m always wondering if the grass is greener on the other side, something tells me I’m settling in some way. However, I’ve also been with a guy who gave me everything I wanted and needed in love but unfortunately, the feeling wasn’t mutual. I don’t want a relationship in which one of us feels like we could do better.
Breakups are painful even when necessary and I’d rather not go through any more of them. I’ve gone on plenty of dates and I’m not afraid of meeting someone new. It’s that period of confusion limbo that I dislike when you’re not yet exclusive, the titles are blurred, and the door to love is half-open. My heart kind of echoes that anxiety because every romantic relationship ends in one of two ways—marriage or a breakup. Breaking up sucks and the less I have to deal with that, the better. Nevermind the fact that it potentially holds me back from something great…
I’m Not Naive—I know plenty of things don’t work out. I know that every relationship isn’t going to end in “happily ever after” so it’s only natural that my conscience weighs in on the reality of how it could result in the outcome of a loss. Sometimes I wish I was naive and could experience dating again as I did when I was 16 so that I’d step out of defense mode every now and then and allow myself to experience every new relationship as a new relationship without the jade of my past.
I’m afraid I might be too picky. I’m so paranoid about getting too involved with the wrong guy that it keeps me from giving a lot of them a chance. I usually ask myself whether I’m just being too picky when I realize the guy I’m talking to is exactly what I need, but not what I want in whatever way or vice versa.
Love Is Alluring But The Wrong Person Ruins It. If I knew that my future husband was sitting across the table from me on our first date then I’d be sure to let my guard down, but that’s not the case. I’m into the idea of falling in love but not at the expense of it being crushed by the wrong person.
I Hate Being Single But Sometimes Fear Clouds My Mind With Doubt. Truthfully, I hate being single. I hate that I’m terrified of love going wrong and I hate that I feel like I have no control of how fast my heart falls for someone but I’m working on relaxing my thoughts and letting it all be as it is.
What If The Wrong Guy Is Wearing A Disguise And I Don’t Notice? As I divulged in my first point, I’ve been manipulated before into believing that the wrong person was the right person. What if I fall for someone that wears a “nice guy” disguise? That’s always a possibility that rattles me to the core. I think that’s what terrifies me more than anything else.
I know I might lose out on “The One” because I’m not aggressive enough. This constantly happens to me. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t want to have to convince someone to be with me, so my attitude goes from interested to “whatever” in a matter of days. I’m not aggressive when it comes to calling dibs on a guy, and half the time I don’t even pick up on any of the signs that they’re interested because I’m used to being rejected and I don’t want to assume anything. I also realize that this mindset does me no good as guys just seem to give up and move on when they can’t break through the walls that my fear builds up.
Despite all this, I’m still Excited To Fall In Love. I swear I’m not trying to be negative. The butterflies, joy, and overall betterment of life that comes from falling in love is something that I crave more than a loaded up burrito after a night of drinking. I just want it to be with the right person!
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