I’m Sick Of Being Punished By Guys For Another Woman’s Mistakes

I’m Sick Of Being Punished By Guys For Another Woman’s Mistakes ©iStock/m-imagephotography

I get it — some guys have had their hearts broken badly and they’ve never quite forgotten the pain of the experience. We’ve all been there, but something’s gotta give. I’ve dated some amazing guys who just couldn’t move forward in love with a clean slate and instead I ended up paying for mistakes made by a woman I’ve never met. Screw that — I’m tired of being punished for someone else’s mistakes.

  1. I’m my own person. I’m a completely separate person who had nothing to do with the relationship before me. It’s ridiculous that I should even have to explain this fact, but it seems like guys really aren’t getting the point. I don’t care what happened before me — if a guy would let me in to help heal his wounds instead of pushing me away, he might be pretty pleasantly surprised with how things could change for the better.
  2. I deserve a new beginning that’s untainted. I deserve the opportunity to be with someone who will look at me with a fresh set of eyes and not the scorned gaze of someone who’s been screwed over. I want my forever story to be one that starts from a place of complete fairness. We should be on a level playing field — otherwise, we’ll be over before we really get started.
  3. These guys probably shouldn’t be dating at all. Truth be told, the guys who aren’t over the crappy things their exes did to them probably shouldn’t be dating at all. Blanketing all women into one category is unfair, just like it is when women to do it to men. Perhaps we could stop having a giant battle of the sexes and simply understand that we have to deal with terrible people from time to time. But we’re not all the same — there are good people and experiences out there if you’re willing to try.
  4. I refuse to take crap for someone else’s crap. I’m not going to stand around and be treated like garbage and assumed to be a raging psychopath simply because the woman before me took a match to his stuff or keyed his car. I’m a normal woman with normal human emotions. I get pissed off only when it’s justified, and paying for someone else’s mistakes when I’ve done nothing wrong is a reason to be annoyed. I’m done with it.
  5. I’m willing to support the struggle if it’s not inflicted on me. I get that some guys have some bitterness in their hearts — they’re only human. I can overlook the fact that there’s damage that’s yet to be repaired so long as he actually lets me in on those facts. I’m sick of being treated like I should be some sort of psychic that should know how to handle sensitive subjects and situations that hit a nerve.
  6. I’m not the one who messed up. I won’t put up with being treated like I’m someone else for the simple fact that I’m not the one who screwed up. Until a guy has reason to be legitimately upset with me for something I’ve done wrong, he has zero right to unload his BS onto me. It’s completely unfair and uncalled for — I won’t stick around for it.
  7. I’m completely exhausted by all these jaded dudes. Dating these days is so painfully exhausting, and I’m almost at my wits’ end. Everyone has damage and no one is willing to embrace a fresh journey. I wish it was simpler, but it doesn’t seem to be changing anytime soon. I can only hope that eventually, one guy is finally going to look at me and not react in terror thinking that I’m going to end up like all the rest before me. I deserve a clean slate and I’m sick of being punished by guys for another woman’s mistake.