I’m A Strong, Independent Woman And Some Men Will Never Be Able To Handle That

I’m proud of the fact that I’m a strong, independent woman but for some reason, those are controversial qualities to have in the dating scene, it seems. Some men will never be able to respect strong women, and those are the type of men I’ll never date. Here’s why:

  1. Some men just need to be the alpha. They want to feel like the leader of the pack—large and in charge. They need women to stand behind them supporting them while they follow their dreams without making room for women to have dreams of our own. They want undeniable loyalty but most of all, they want a relationship where it’s their way or the highway because women are supposed to be submissive in their eyes.
  2. Some men need women to be weak in order for them to feel strong. It’s like the way bullies push other people down to make themselves feel good. They’re still using elementary school antics to bully women into thinking that our thoughts, lives, and opinions are less than any man’s. They need someone low on the totem pole so that they can feel like they stand on higher ground. At the end of the day, a woman’s strength is just too damn intimidating.
  3. Some men still think they’re women’s masters. Like dogs and their owners, some men still think of wives and girlfriends as their property. They don’t want women to make our own choices. A woman needs to first consult a man so that he can make a proper decision. These men want to be the heads of the household and they don’t really think women deserve a say in any aspect of our lives.
  4. Some men will never believe in feminism. While so many men simply don’t understand that feminism is literally just about both men and women being completely equal, too many of them do understand that and still reject the concept. They don’t want to be equals. They don’t believe that women are equal to them. They never have and they never will because if women and men are the same, we might not need men after all. Eye roll.
  5. Some men obsess over their definition of masculinity. In their minds, strength and independence are directly related to masculinity. They want to put women into boxes and confine them to the old-fashioned explanation of what it is to be feminine. They define themselves by the women in their life and if they’re not the superior gender then they don’t feel like “real” men. Lame.
  6. Some men can’t live without control. Men paint women as control freaks, but too many of them need to take a good look in the mirror. They think women are dramatic if they simply refuse to fall in line. They want women to stay in their own lane and frankly just stay out of their way because they never want a woman to forget our “place” in this world, A.K.A. standing behind a man.
  7. Some men just aren’t able to fathom that women can survive on our own. They still feel like it’s their responsibility to “take care” of the female population. They look down on women as if they pity us. They don’t believe that women are capable of paying our own bills or properly raising our own children. They want a say in everything a woman does because without a man, we couldn’t possibly be doing anything the “right” way.
  8. Some men need to feel like someone is beneath them. They thrive on feeling like women are the inferior gender. They just want to think that no matter what they do or who they are, there will always be a group of people that they can consider themselves better than. It’s all about self-esteem and power. They need women to be nothing without them so they can feel like everything.
  9. Some men just have no purpose if a woman doesn’t need them. It’s pretty pathetic, but there are definitely men out there who need to feel like women depend on them. They go by the old rule that men bring home the bacon and women fry it up in the pan. They have to be the breadwinner because at the end of the day, their self-worth is based on the financial support they give to the women that “need” them.
  10. Some men can’t accept that women are just as capable. Unfortunately, there are still men in the modern day who don’t think women can be as smart or as hard working as a man. They think that no woman could do our jobs better or even just as good as a man can.  These are the men who pay women less and don’t consider them for leadership roles. They like men to be in charge because they don’t think women and men are even in the same league when it comes to intellect.
  11. Some men refuse to believe that they’re not God’s gift to women. There are certain men who need a woman to constantly stroke their ego. They appear narcissistic but really they’re insecure. They play women because they don’t think of them as real human beings. Honestly, they won’t ever appreciate a good woman because they believe it’s the women that should feel lucky to be with them.
  12. Some men push women down because they’re afraid of us rising up. These men who can’t handle strong and independent women are really just afraid. They worry that the more power women find, the fewer power men will have in the world. They don’t see women as equals because truthfully they don’t want us to be equals. At the end of the day, it’s all about maintaining their place at the top by keeping women below.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.