We’ve all had our moments of selfishness, but if these phrases are constantly rolling off your tongue, it’s time for a serious reality check. Don’t be that person everyone secretly rolls their eyes at. A little self-awareness can go a long way in making you someone people actually enjoy being around rather than someone they see as rude or inconsiderate.
1. “Can I borrow this? I’ll give it back, I promise.“
… And then you disappear with their stuff. Look, everyone needs a helping hand sometimes, but if you’re always “borrowing” (and never returning), you’re not fooling anyone. People notice when you take advantage of their generosity.
2. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
If you’re constantly hurting people’s feelings and then backpedaling, it’s not about how they took it – it’s about how you said it. Own your words and their impact. Trying to weasel out of responsibility makes you look callous, not clever. Maybe do a bit more thinking before speaking so you can avoid offending people all the time.
3. “I’m too busy.”
We all have lives, but always being “too busy” to make time for anyone else is a lousy excuse. It’s code for “you’re not a priority.” If you truly care about a person, you’ll find some way to connect – even if it’s just a quick text to say hi. No one is so busy that they can’t take five minutes out of their day for the people that mean the most to them.
4. “My problems are worse than yours.”
Everyone struggles, but turning every conversation into a misery competition is selfish. Listen, support people, and offer empathy instead of trying to one-up everyone. Your problems aren’t always the center of the universe. Also, everything is relative — what seems like no big deal to you could be a major one to someone else. Don’t invalidate people’s feelings or experiences.
5. “Wow, you’re so sensitive.”
This is gaslighting at its finest. Dismissing someone’s feelings to avoid a difficult conversation or admitting you messed up is disrespectful. Work on communicating with kindness, not cruelty. People are allowed to have feelings, even if you don’t understand or agree with them. This doesn’t make them wrong (nor does it make you right!).
6. “Sorry, I forgot.”
Once, it’s an accident. Constantly? It means you don’t value other people’s time enough to remember things that are important to them. Showing up late, forgetting plans, or constantly flaking out makes you unreliable and inconsiderate. If you have a lot going on, that’s fair enough, but write it down!
7. “What’s in it for me?”
Only focusing on what you can get out of a situation shows a lack of empathy. Healthy relationships, friendships, and even work environments are about give and take – not just taking. Sometimes you have to do things without expecting (or even wanting) anything in return just because it’s the nice thing to do.
8. “Lighten up — it’s just a joke!”
Jokes can be hurtful, and hiding behind “you can’t take a joke” after saying something mean is a weak way to avoid accountability. Consider who you’re joking with, the context, and whether it’s truly funny or just punching down. You don’t need to make people feel bad about themselves for a laugh.
9. “You’re overreacting.”
This is just as bad as telling someone that they’re “too sensitive.” Minimizing someone’s feelings is dismissive. Let them express themselves without judging them for it. Just because you don’t feel the same way doesn’t mean their emotions aren’t totally valid.
10. “I’m always here if you need me…”
… But you’re never actually there when they reach out. Empty promises erode trust. If you’re going to offer support, be prepared to follow through or don’t offer it at all. It seems like something people say when they have no intention of actually inconveniencing themselves or their lives to help the other person out. It’s lip service and they hope the other person will never take them up on the offer. Don’t be someone like this.
11. “Well, actually…”
Always correcting people, especially over trivial stuff, is annoying. It makes you look like a know-it-all and discourages people from sharing their thoughts and insights with you. This isn’t just inconsiderate, it’s insufferable.
12. “I told you so.”
When someone messes up, rubbing it in their face is unkind. Resist the urge to be smug and focus on being supportive instead. People learn more from kindness than from being kicked when they’re down. You might have known better or predicted how things were going to play out, but what good will it do to remind them of that now?
13. “Relax.”
Telling someone who’s upset to “relax” is infuriating. It dismisses their feelings and implies they’re being unreasonable. Offer practical help or simply listen instead of trying to shut their emotions down. Also, think about it — when has telling someone to relax actually ever worked? Never!
14. “I don’t need to explain myself to you.”
Playing the mystery card with your actions is inconsiderate. It makes people feel confused and on edge, like they’re not worth a simple explanation. You don’t have to write a whole essay, but a little transparency goes a long way. Nobody likes feeling clueless or like they can’t trust you to be straightforward with them.
15. “It’s not my problem — deal with it.”
Bucking responsibility onto others leaves them drowning while you stand on the shore. Nobody likes feeling alone in a tough situation, especially when you’re the one who messed up. Instead of shrugging it off, own your mistakes and offer to help fix them. It builds trust and makes people feel like you’ve actually got their back.
16. “You’re too emotional.”
Telling someone they’re “too emotional” is a cheap shot. It makes them feel ashamed for expressing themselves. Instead of being dismissive, try actually listening to what they’re saying. Understand where they’re coming from and support them even if you don’t completely agree. Treating people with empathy is the way to go.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
