INTJ Personality Type: What It Is And How It Manifests In Relationships

The INTJ personality type is one of six personalities derived from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator®. INTJs are introverted, intuitive, thought-oriented, and approach the world with more judgment than perception. This is a strong personality type who gets things done. Here’s what it means to have an INTJ personality type and how it manifests in relationships.

1. The Myers-Briggs Test The Myers-Briggs test was developed in the early 1900s by Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Myers, a mother/daughter duo whose work was informed by the psychological framework of Carl Jung. The test was intended to highlight the differences and strengths of each person and to help them capitalize on their potential. Today, it’s used across the world by two million people each year. There are sixteen different personality types offered by the test based on four variables. Here are the four factors that make up the INTJ personality.
2. Introverted INTJs gain energy through solitude. They usually spend a lot of time thinking and observing, and prefer alone time over going out with big groups of people. During social interactions, they’d rather talk one-on-one than vie for attention in a crowd. They may find social situations uncomfortable and seek more intimate settings.
3. Intuitive The binary for this part of the test is between sensing and intuition, and describes how a person draws information from the world around them. More sensory people rely on what’s in front of them. They prefer getting their knowledge from their five senses, especially through hands-on experiences. People who use intuition, like INTJs, tend to extrapolate from the facts in front of them. They are analytical, preferring to use their senses as a jumping-off point rather than a destination.
4. Thinking INTJs make decisions primarily through thought rather than emotion. They are fact-oriented, gathering all the hard data they need to make informed, considered choices. People who fall more on the side of intuition base their decisions on their emotions and those of the people around them.
5. Judging This part of the test focuses on the difference between judging and perceiving. Judging might sound negative (no one wants to be labeled as “judgmental”), but in the context of the Myers-Briggs test, there is nothing undesirable about it. “Judging” means that the person prefers to approach the world with structure, consideration, and certainty, while people who fall more on the perceiving end of the spectrum prefer a more open-ended, easygoing approach to life.
6. Famous people with INTJ personality type According to The Personality Club, a website dedicated to the Myers-Briggs test, there are many celebrities who are identifiable INTJs. They include everyone from Isaac Newton to Jay-Z. Sylvia Plath, Jodie Foster, and Sherlock Holmes (yes, fictional characters can be tested too) also feature. INTJs are intelligent, forward-thinking, and thoughtful.

What being an INTJ personality type means for your relationships

If you have an INTJ personality type, there are many things you can learn about how you tend to engage in romantic relationships based on your personality type. Here’s how the INTJ personality type traits manifest in a person’s love life.

1. Flirting doesn’t come naturally to you. As an introvert and someone who prefers observing rather than jumping into every situation, you find flirting awkward and uncomfortable. You’d like to do it well, and you sometimes play out scenarios in your head, but it never seems to go as planned. You’re either overcome with shyness or something happens that you weren’t expecting and it throws you off. All in all, you’d much rather be approached by someone you like than have to break the ice yourself.
2. You’re straightforward. You don’t like playing games. You’d rather tell a person how you feel than wait for them to figure it out. As far as you’re concerned, it’s a matter of respect. If you aren’t feeling a spark, you’ll find a way to tell them tactfully but clearly. You’d rather be mature about the process rather than avoid confrontation and play games.
3. You sometimes hide your emotions without realizing it. Because you are a thoughtful and analytical person, you sometimes assume that your partner can read your mind. If you love them, you might not say it out loud because you think that they already know based on your actions. You have such a rich inner world that you can sometimes forget that it isn’t visible on the surface.
4. You can seem cold and emotionless during conflict. Part of being logical and calculated is that you sometimes shut down during arguments. You feel that spewing emotion at each other is unproductive, so you try to be the reasonable one and act calmly and methodically. While this may seem like the most reasonable approach to you, your partner may perceive this as a lack of caring.
5. Your partner may not recognize your sensitivity. If you fall on the more intellectual side of the spectrum, you might sometimes come across as aloof and reserved. Because you try to master your emotions in difficult situations, your partner may not recognize the depth of feeling that you possess. People with INTJ personality type are often very passionate people, but they hide this because they recognize the value of striving for objectivity in emotional situations.
6. Sometimes you find it difficult to express love. Another aspect of being introverted is that you can find it difficult to say how you feel. Being straightforward about practical things (like not feeling a spark between you and the person you’re dating) is doable. But when it comes to expressing how you feel, you are fearful of getting overwhelmed with emotion and losing control of yourself. Learning how to embrace vulnerability is a lifelong struggle for those with the INTJ personality type.
7. But you think about love all the time. Your depth of hidden emotion can be a curse. You might fall in love quickly, only to analyze your feelings to death and convince yourself that you’re just being impulsive and irrational. You get hung up on your emotions which prevents you from expressing them. When you’re dating someone new, your thoughts are consumed by a struggle between emotion and rationality.
8. You might feel like you’re the only one holding the relationship together. You stick to your word and like to plan ahead. This is a struggle in the world of dating where people constantly cancel plans and ghost each other. This can make you feel like you’re the one holding your relationships together. People who like to play it by ear and be spontaneous seem indecisive and unreliable to you, even when that has nothing to do with how invested they are in the relationship.
9. You show love with actions, not words. Extroverts tend to talk a lot and charm people with their words and outgoing nature. Introverts often express their love in quieter ways, whether it’s by doing favors, showing up, or initiating dates. While you may not speak openly about your feelings all the time, you are constantly showing your partner how you feel about them.
10. You are fiercely loyal. When you commit, you go all the way. This is part of your decisiveness. Those with INTJ personality type may take a while to make up their mind about love, but when they do, they’re all in. You come to your judgments and decisions through an enormous (and probably excessive) amount of thought. You don’t commit to a person lightly and you don’t go back on your word. Anyone who is loved by an INTJ has hit the jackpot and can rely on their loyalty.