Is He The Love Of Your Life Or Just The Love Of The Moment?

Is He The Love Of Your Life Or Just The Love Of The Moment? ©iStock/andresr

Too often, we mistake the the wrong guys for Mr. Right. You set your heart on forever, and then you’re left devastated when you find out that what you thought was true love was actually anything but. Can’t tell if what you have will go the distance? Look out for these signs that it’s the real deal:

  1. He actually makes you a priority. Mr. Right will make time for you no matter how busy he is. If you feel like you’re always second place, this might be a fleeting love. The right guy will make you feel important, while the wrong guy has you begging for attention.
  2. You know that having a fight doesn’t mean you’re finished. When you fight with Mr. Right, you’re not worried it’ll automatically lead to a breakup. If he’s not in it for the long haul, you’ll always be fearful that every fight might be your last. If it’s right, then he’ll never keep you guessing if he’s going to stick around.
  3. Your head and your heart agree. With Mr. Right Now, you have to convince yourself to be with him. When you find the right guy, you’re not constantly questioning your love for him. Not only are you following your heart, your head also agrees that you’re in a good place.
  4. Commitment isn’t an issue. Mr. Right now probably won’t be all that into commitment, and you shouldn’t have to beg or trick the love of your life to be faithful or date only you. Mr. Right doesn’t drag his heels — he recognizes something worth investing in and doesn’t want to lose it.
  5. You both feel lucky to have found each other. So many women feel lucky to find a great guy, but does your boyfriend feel just as lucky to have found you? He might be amazing, but you’ve got just as much to offer, and you need someone who realizes that.
  6. He becomes your best friend. And your relationship doesn’t suffer because of it. You’re friends and lovers, and that’s the way it should be. You know the difference between loving someone and being in love, and when it comes to Mr. Right, you’re so lucky to be in love with your very best friend.
  7. He’s not afraid to show you off. Whether that means sharing your photos on social media or introducing you to all of his friends and family, the right guy isn’t afraid to make his affection for you. That doesn’t mean you need to make every detail of your relationship public, but he’s definitely not trying to keep you a secret.
  8. You’re not afraid to be honest with him, and he prefers it that way. When it comes to love, secrets are the enemy. If you’re with Mr. Right Now, it feels easier to hide certain aspects of your life or even of yourself. When you’re with the guy you’re meant to spend forever with, however, you can trust him to love you no matter how hard the truths you tell him may be.
  9. You feel safe with him. You’re not afraid that he’ll leave you, nor do you ever doubt that he’ll always support you. He’s always going to have your back and love you even when you’re wrong. The love of your life feels safe and secure, while a more temporary boyfriend could turn on you at any time.
  10. You bring out the best in each other. Do you support each other’s careers? What about lifelong dreams? Friendships? Religion? Bottom line: Do you encourage each other to grow into the best versions of yourselves? If you answer “yes” to all of the above, you’ve got a fighting chance at forever.
  11. You’re a team. You’re not worried about who holds the power or who ‘wears the pants’. There’s no struggle for control here. You work together as a team, never putting one person’s needs ahead of the other’s. Sure, relationships can’t always be 50/50, but in general, you’re on even keel.
  12. He makes you feel good about yourself. The guy of the moment can make you question whether or not you really like yourself, but if he’s the one for you, he’ll never make you feel like you need to change. He feels lucky just to be with you exactly as you are.
  13. You can’t wait to come home to each other at the end of a long day. Are you still excited about seeing each other at the end of the day, or has that flutter in your stomach gone away? Mr. Right Now can wait to see you, but even after a great day at work, you can’t wait to get home to the love of your life.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.