JOMO Is The New FOMO & It’s About Damn Time

Sometimes it seems like all you ever hear about is people and their perfect lives on social media but instead of making you anxious or upset about the experiences you’re not having, you’re actually pretty thrilled about it. In fact, you’d much rather be chilling on your couch with a nice glass of wine. If you’ve ever felt this way, chances are you’re experienced in the Joy Of Missing Out.

Feeling stressed about turning down invitations just isn’t something you’ve experienced. You have no issues saying no to things. In fact, you’re perfectly happy to tell someone you’re busy when you just want a night in or to sleep in an extra few hours. Guilt over doing what you want isn’t an emotion you’re familiar with.

You think of Netflix and chill as a solo activity featuring you, Season 2 of Stranger Things, and a large pizza. What could be better than a night in on your own with some good eats and a new season of your favorite show? The very idea of bringing someone else into the mix is just offensive. How are you supposed to focus on the plot if there’s someone trying to have sex with you? Pick one or the other!

Staying out late is one of your recurring nightmares. Whenever you agree to go out, you have to establish ground rules with your friends so they know when you’ll be leaving. You can count on one hand the number of times you’ve stayed out past midnight and you’re not interested in adding that number. You’re very good at leaving whenever TF you want to.

The only time you’ve ever used the word “lit” was in reference to candles. Seeing people’s drunk party pics really doesn’t make you feel anything but relief that you’re not there. Parties can definitely be fun and you know how to have a good time, but you’ve never felt the urge to go out or get tipsy or hammered just because your friends are.

You’re your friends’ go-to when it comes to advice on self-care. You know how to put yourself first. Everyone thinks you’ve cracked the code to a happy life, and maybe you have. You take care of yourself in a way that a lot of people don’t know how to do and because of this, people are always asking for your secret. Chances are, your answer is pretty simple: just DGAF about what other people think of you.

Seeing everyone’s party and vacation pics on Instagram only makes you happier to be curled up with a book at home. Envy isn’t really something you experience. Maybe it’s because you know what makes you happy and that there’s a lot that’s left out of social media posts. Maybe it’s because you know that little things like a new pair of shoes or a quick weekend getaway are all it takes to be content. Either way, you’ve managed to have pretty much zero jealousy when it comes to social media.

You’d rather meet a guy on a dating app than find one at a bar, and you have absolutely no shame about it. Going out to meet guys is just too much effort when you could just hang out at home or on your commute swiping right. You’ve probably honed your Tinder skills by now, and have a flawless system for separating the “has a job and isn’t a jerk and actually seems pretty sensitive” guys from the “I will definitely regret everything as soon as I sleep with him” guys.

Your social media following is basically just your friends and family and you wouldn’t have it any other way. While other people are out there purchasing Instagram followers, you’re still firmly rooted in the original concept behind social media platforms. You just want to share your life with friends and family and keep up with their lives. Having a bunch of strangers following your day to day life through a screen just seems kind of weird and unnecessary.

You prefer to keep a few very close friends and don’t bother with maintaining a million casual acquaintances. You’re serious about all your friendships and are pretty much the best friend ever. Having a bunch of random people to talk and hang out with isn’t really your thing. You’d much rather have a few close friends who you know and trust and can talk to about anything.

You’d rather spend the rest of your life in an underground bunker than spend one weekend at a music festival. “Did someone say ‘Coachella’? I’m sorry, I was too busy hiding under the bed with my hands over my ears to hear the rest of your sentence.” If you’ve ever found yourself saying this or any variation of it, you are a trailblazing member of the #JOMO club.

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