What Life Is Like When You’re Chronically Running Late

Some of us just seem to operate on a time schedule than others. While some people will turn up five minutes early to their own funeral, others can’t seem to get out the door on time to save their lives. Whether you’re part of the latter group or someone who loathes them, the fact is that some people are just always late. Here’s what life is like when your habit of being tardy seems unbreakable.

  1. People lie to you about start times. Your friends know that you’re incapable of arriving on time, so they have to trick you into it by saying that the movie starts an hour before it actually does. This way, you’re right on time.
  2. You constantly piss off Uber and cab drivers. Those guys just can’t seem to understand that you are ready for them to be there… you just need a few more minutes to fix your makeup. You’ll be down in a second!
  3. You get reprimanded at work. Even when you’re only five minutes late to work, it’s still considered late, and not only do your coworkers give you the side eye as you come in, your boss regularly sits you down to talk about this habit. In fact, you may have even faced actual disciplinary action or even lost your job because of your inability to turn up on time.
  4. You try to sneak in unnoticed. For some reason, if it looks like you’re coming from the bathroom and not from the parking lot, you think you can buy a few extra minutes and make it seem like you were just killing time since you were actually too early.
  5. You tend to make sweeping entrances. Since you’re constantly in a rush trying to get places, you end up flinging doors and storming across rooms more than you intend you. It’s a bit dramatic, but you’ve got a flair for that.
  6. Low level stress just stays with you. Once you’re running late for one thing, it’s like you’re running late for everything, so you’re constantly stressed out about not only getting to the birthday party tonight, but also to brunch tomorrow.
  7. People think that you’re disorganized. Which you know that you’re not. You’re right on schedule all the time… it’s just on your own schedule, not theirs.
  8. You’re always apologizing. People don’t seem to love it when you’re always keeping them waiting, so you do a lot of apologizing once you do make it to where you’re supposed to be. You even promise to do better next time, but somehow that “next time” never comes.
  9. People lecture you. The big one that you always hear is that you’re disrespecting everyone else’s time by not adhering to a reasonable schedule and being somewhere when you said that you would. You understand where they’re coming from, but you still don’t want to hear it.
  10. You’ve thought of every excuse there is. Sometimes you don’t feel like mentioning that you were running late simply because you felt like taking a bath instead of a shower. A tall traffic jam tale takes some of the pressure off you and puts it on those imaginary cars.
  11. You lie about being on your way. If you really told your friends that you hadn’t started your makeup yet when you were supposed to be leaving, they would totally freak out. Sometimes it’s better to bluff.
  12. The snooze button is your best friend. In fact, you tend to set multiple alarms at a time because you’ve been known to snooze in your sleep.
  13. When you are on time, it’s a big deal. Whenever you’re actually on time, all your friends think it’s cute to still give you a hard time about your chronic lateness and point out that hell must have frozen over for you to have turned up when you said you would.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com