In Life & Love, You Get What You Think You Deserve, So Aim High

If you don’t think you have the potential to do amazing things, you’re living a lie. You have it inside you to accomplish whatever you set your mind to — sometimes, it just takes a little work to realize it. When you feel like you’ll never achieve the happiness and success you desire, remember these things:

  1. You need to do the things that scare the hell out of you. Fear keeps you stuck in one place. The fear of risk in particular is like super glue. You’re rooted to one spot in your life because you’re afraid of failure, rejection, heartbreak – pick your poison, basically. You have to push past it. Whatever you dream of — changing careers, going back to school, pursuing a new love interest — don’t let your fear of what might happen stop you. Push through. The more frightened you are, the harder you have to push.
  2. You deserve more than you think you do. When you’re down on yourself, it’s tempting to think that you don’t deserve anything more than you can get. If someone’s interested in you, that’s enough for you to be interested in them. It happens with dead-end jobs, one-sided friendships, and go-nowhere relationships. You deserve more than that, and it’s time you start looking for more.
  3. Settling won’t fulfill you in the long run. Don’t settle because you’re lonely or because you don’t think you can do any better. Settling sucks the soul out of your body. You might believe that you can live with a job you don’t care about or a partner who doesn’t arouse any passion in you, but are you really living or are you only existing?
  4. Your time is better spent working for things than wishing for them. You wish for a better career, a home of your own, or a new degree. You wish you lived in Paris. You wish you could ask out the guy you’ve been pining over. Wishes waste time. Do you know what you’re capable of if you take all those seconds and use them to grant your own wishes? Put them into action, and send your regards from the Latin Quarter when you finally make that dream trip a reality.
  5. If something in your life doesn’t make you happy, then chuck it. Why would you ever waste your time on anything that doesn’t bring you joy? Practically speaking, you might have to stick with a job you hate or take classes you don’t enjoy, but you have control over almost everything else. Does your partner make you miserable? Why are you still together? Move on, and never mind your fear – remember, you deserve better. Friends who suck the happiness out of you are cordially invited to bounce, as well. As for the job, if you honestly hate yours, make a plan to find something new. There’s nothing wrong with having an exit strategy.
  6. Low standards leave you stagnant. You’re worth so much more than bottom-of-the-barrel standards. They don’t challenge you. By their very nature, they’re not stimulating. Setting higher standards doesn’t place you out of the running for anything. “Higher” doesn’t mean “insurmountable” — it just means you reach for what you’re worth, and you’re worth all the stars in the sky. Own your shine.
  7. You have more strength than you even realize. Changing is hard work. Improving yourself, exploring your potential, raising your standards – those are all difficult tasks. Anything worthwhile takes effort. Don’t avoid trying something new or reaching for a goal just because you don’t think you’re strong enough. You’re a superhero(ine).
  8. It’s not selfish to go after what you want. It’s essential. Why shouldn’t you go after what you want, and who’s the fool trying to tell you it’s selfish? Reaching for your goals ultimately makes you a better person. You’re happier, more confident, and more fulfilled, and that affects your relationships with other people, too. So really, chasing what you want is selfless.
  9. It’s not selfish to focus on yourself, either. You are your own best friend, even if you don’t realize it. Focusing on yourself is an act of self-love, and you have every reason in the world to love yourself. Until you make yourself the center of your world, you’ll never know what you’re capable of. You owe it to yourself to focus inward.
west virginia native, new hampshire transplant, parisian in the depths of my unimpressed soul. owner of an impressive resting bitch face. writer and reader. fluent in sarcasm and snark. lover of lower case and the oxford comma.