Listen Up, Ladies—9 Blunt Home Truths You Desperately Need To Hear

Sometimes it’s easy to get stuck in your own head, distorting reality and convincing yourself of things that are not only untrue but super harmful to your emotional and mental well-being. Well, sit back and listen, because I’m about to set you straight on some important issues.

  1. He’s seriously not worth it. Honestly, what are you doing hanging on to some loser who doesn’t respect you or care about you enough to treat you like a valuable human being? He’s wasting your time and you’re letting him. It’s not like there aren’t other guys out there—ones that will actually reciprocate your energy and efforts. The longer you hold onto this one, the more miserable you’ll be.
  2. You deserve so much better. Maybe you think you always end up with guys who treat you like crap because that’s all you deserve but that’s BS. You’re a strong, smart, kind woman who deserves a guy who treats you with the same level of care that you offer him. You need to start believing that if you want to break the toxic cycle you’re in. You deserve better.
  3. He won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself. This can’t be said enough. You get what you put up with. If you let a guy walk all over you and treat you like dirt, you can’t blame him for doing so—you’re letting it happen! Respect yourself enough to demand that he respects you too. If he’s lying, cheating, talking down to you, or just generally treating you like crap, he doesn’t respect you and you need to move on. NOW.
  4. You’re not fat and you don’t need to lose weight. Seriously, how do you think your life is going to change by losing five pounds? Ten? Numbers on the scale don’t matter. And so what if you are a little overweight? Unless you’re morbidly obese to the point that it’s putting your health in danger, it’s a superficial concern that won’t make you any happier by achieving. Focus on fitness and health. If those things are in place, does it matter if you have a little extra fluff?
  5. You’re not a supermodel—so what? So you don’t look like Kendall Jenner or whatever other ridiculously slim and beautiful famous woman out there. And? It’s time to start believing that you’re beautiful just as you are. The things you see as flaws or imperfections are the very things that make you unique and interesting to look at. Not everyone is born with the metabolism of a hummingbird and the legs of a goddess. Does it really matter in the end?
  6. Comparing yourself to other women is pointless. Instead of idolizing celebrities or even comparing yourself to other attractive women you work with, go to school with, or just see on the street, take a step back and gain a little perspective. You’re putting too much value on appearances and forgetting that there’s no one way to be beautiful. Learn to love the skin you’re in—I promise you that the women you wish you looked like don’t have it any better in life than you do.
  7. If you want it, you have to work for it. Sitting at home feeling depressed about how you’re not as far along in your career as you’d like, how you’re out of shape, or any number of other things you haven’t done but want to is a waste of time. You’re not going to get there any faster by throwing yourself a pity party. Pick yourself up, do your research, and then spring into action. Accomplishments only happen when you put in the hard work—nothing is going to be handed to you on a silver platter.
  8. Sometimes things just don’t work out. Sometimes even when you do respect yourself, work for it, do all the right things, stuff just doesn’t work out. It sucks and it’s not fair but that’s life. Feel bad for yourself for a hot second and then get up and get back out there. Life is too short to get caught up crying about stuff that didn’t work out. Move on to something that will. You’ll be happy you did.
  9. You’ve got this. At the end of the day, you’re stronger and more badass than you give yourself credit for. Whatever happens in life, you can handle it. You’ll get through it and come out better than ever before. Believe in yourself because you’ve got this.
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill
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