We all love to give advice, but there are definitely some people that you should never take it from. Learning how to filter out those people will narrow down who you ask for feedback from in the first place and will save you a lot of time in helping to gain clarity. After all, advice isn’t all that helpful when it’s patently bad, right?
1. People who don’t actually know you
Why should you take advice from someone who doesn’t know much about you or your life? This of course includes social media trolls. Everybody loves to put their two cents in without knowing anything about your situation or what you value as a person. Don’t let people who don’t know your dreams in life tell you things that will shatter them before you even begin to work on making them come true.
2. People who are hot and cold with you
We all have those people in our lives who text one day and then disappear for months without an explanation, and when you question this, they say things like, “Oh, sorry, I was just really busy.” Don’t let a person like this give you advice as though they’re a valuable person in your life when they’re constantly choosing whether you are worthy of their time and often showing you you’re not.
3. People who don’t take their own advice
There are so many people who ask for advice but never listen to any of it and just do what they always planned to do anyway. They waste other people’s time by going on and on about whatever situation is happening in their life, but don’t actually grow as a person and move on by taking action. If they can’t even take action and responsibility in their own lives, don’t bother asking them what action is right for you to take. (BTW, if you want good advice, particularly about your love life, our sister site, Sweetn, is for you. Their research-backed tips and tricks will have you dating in a whole new way in just a few weeks!)
4. People who love drama
Some people love to talk about their lives in a very dramatic way or worse, cause drama that didn’t need to happen in the first place. This could include interpreting what someone said to them in the worst way possible to ensure they’re in the right or coming up with things that didn’t happen that make someone else look bad (and make them look good). Stay away from asking these draining people for advice — they won’t be very good at it.
5. People who have never experienced what you’re going through
If you’re looking to change your life or are already in the process of making it happen, don’t listen to people who have never done the things you’re doing. For instance, say you’ve always wanted to move overseas and you’re actually applying for visas and looking for jobs in your new country. If the person you’re asking for advice doesn’t even own a passport, they’re not going to be able to offer you much valuable feedback. They have no idea what it takes to accomplish these goals and don’t have the same drive you do to make these things happen. Follow your own heart in these matters because you’re the one living your life.
6. People who are there for you when you’re down but not when you’re winning
It’s easy to console people when they’re doing worse than you but not as easy to praise people and lift them up when you feel jealous and insecure about your own accomplishments. Be wary of the people who stay close to you when you’re down and offer you advice on how you might get your life back on track. Are they the same people who would be happy when you’re happy and love that you’re doing well in life? If not, there’s a problem.
7. Hairdressers
This is a controversial one, sure, but too often people come away disappointed with their haircuts after listening to a hairdresser’s advice. No bangs if you have curly hair, you can’t be platinum blonde when you have very dark eyebrows, etc. Break the rules (within reason — don’t burn all your hair off) and go with what you want. If you don’t try it, you’ll never know.
8. People who stay with their terrible partners
You hate this person’s partner, and they seem to hate them too. And yet, they still stay with them despite complaining about them all the time. Why take advice from someone who obviously isn’t making great life decisions for themselves? Especially don’t ask for relationship advice from someone whose relationship makes you cringe all the time.
9. Family members who don’t respect boundaries
Family is very important, and they’re usually some of the people who know you the best. Sadly, that doesn’t automatically make them right, especially when they cross a line with your boundaries. If a family member is constantly asking when you’ll get married or when you’re going to have children and giving you advice regarding these things, tune them out. You don’t need to listen to someone who doesn’t realize they can criticize your life because of the “family” label.
10. People who don’t step outside of their comfort zone
Sometimes you just need to take a risk without judgment, and that’s not what people in their comfort zone tend to do. These people aren’t venturing out of their safe space, so why should you expect to hear good advice from them about doing it in your own life? If you want encouragement on taking risks, talk to someone who’s doing it.
11. People who aren’t on top of their finances
If you’re asking advice about anything to do with money or investments, don’t go to people who don’t have their own financial ducks in a row. In this type of scenario, you need to look for practical people who have bothered to increase their knowledge about their finances or even have the experience of starting a business. These are the people who will knowledgeably share their experiences and advice with you in meaningful ways.
12. Clothes shop assistants
They’ll tell you that you look good to sell the clothes, but they don’t know what your actual personal style is. Let you be the one to decide what does and doesn’t look good on you because you know your own body, not to mention what you feel comfortable in and will actually wear from your closet.
13. Negative people
Some people will look out for you and tell you the truth (even if you don’t want to hear it) while others will give you the worst-case scenario every time and will barely say anything positive. Negative people suck others into a vortex of worry and sadness. Good advice is balanced rather than negatively biased. Stay away from taking advice from people who never see anything positive about you or what you’re doing.
14. People who haven’t worked hard to get where they are
Their family may have a lot of money or maybe they were able to move in with a partner who already owns a house. Let’s be real — these people don’t really get the struggle of doing things on their own and clawing their way to the top. You’d be wasting your time trying to get valuable advice about pushing forward through life when they’ve been handed things on a silver platter.
15. People who won’t tell it to you straight
Avoid the people who will tip-toe around what they really want to tell you (or what you need to hear). They’re trying to spare your feelings but are doing the opposite in letting you get hurt because they didn’t tell you the truth. The truth can hurt but far less than a person in your life that doesn’t care enough about you to tell you what they really think and have your best interest at heart.
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